Sexual violence has become a front and center issue in the eye of the public ever since the NFL took a stance on the conflicts surrounding Ray Rice, and other infamous football players for their inexcusable misconduct. In response to the unsettling news, people all over the world have begun to take a stance on the issue of sexual violence, gender inequality, and the overall enveloping concept of rape culture; it seems that these connecting issues have become a hot button topic for the year. Even our very own Building Bridges organization has declared that their 20th annual conference on March 7 will be called “Hidden in Plain Sight: Recognizing and Rejecting Rape Culture.” Although these incidents are finally being brought to the people’s attention, we have to wonder why this issue has not been forcefully confronted sooner.
“Why is there such an obsession with trying to find someone to sleep with? Shouldn’t we try to find someone worth waking up -Unknown
If we take a step back, and take a long hard look at today’s society, we may begin to see exactly how we have all played a role in the push back against progress of this issue. No one would ever want to admit that they are against the end of rape culture, because, honestly, that would make someone a monster. However, as this war against an unjustifiable act wages on, we are unconsciously giving the enemy power. In more ways than one, society is refusing the end of rape culture, making a golden utopia of the end out of all rape unattainable.
In a perfect world, little children would learn from the very beginning that yes means yes, and no means no. Subsequently, those children would not question this rational but they would also practice and live by it throughout their life.
Unfortunately, this is not the case. Though parents, teachers, and other role models try their best to teach children about consent (without actually saying the word consent). Most children will eventually find a sort of disconnect from saying one thing and doing another. An example of this comes from the very early years of goofing around, and the familiar age of tickle fights. It is during those days of playing around and doing things for the fun of it when the lines of consent become blurred and confusing.
Children would learn from the very beginning of their memory that yes means yes, and no means no.
Fast forward years later and we see this idea and rule put to the test in a very serious and life altering situation. Inexcusable excuses and sickening victim blaming aside, it comes down to a single decision of whether one will follow that rule made so long ago about no meaning no, and yes meaning yes. Although there are plenty of people out there that follow this rule nobly, there are also plenty of people that take advantage of this sort of situation.
The only solution to ending rape, is making sure people do not rape. Plain and simple, because the only people that are at fault in a rape situation is the rapist.
Because we live in a world where people are being raped (and I say people because rape is not confined to only women), that means we also live in world of rape-wear. This can be anything from the rape/safety whistles found near the checkout of your local drug store, or even the nail polish that can detect if a drug is in your drink.
However, rape-wear is not only confined to the materialistic goods that you can order off of Amazon. This also means the self defense classes that your parents wanted you to take for their peace of mind and for those “just-in-case” moments. With tasers, guns, pepper-spray, and methods of holding your keys in case of an attack from the man behind the bushes while you walk out to your car are all options for your personal safety, I can’t help but laugh a little. Why should I, or any other person, have to be a black belt in karate or an expert in self defense in order to feel safe in ordinary situations. Why should I have to invest money that should be used for my college education for rape whistles or nail polish that changes color. Why should I have to be fearful of this somehow inevitable attack on my body?
The only solution to a person’s fear, or rather this world wide issue of rape culture and sexual violence can not be found in the checkout of a convenience store or the class sign up sheet at the gym. The only solution to ending rape, is making sure that people do not rape. Plain and simple, because the only people that are at fault in a rape situation is the rapist. It doesn’t matter what she was wearing, or how much alcohol was involved, because rape is rape. The sooner we begin to realize that this is the only solution to this devastating issue, the closer we get to achieving our golden utopia.
-Ellie Sherwin