The Gustavian Weekly

Calendar (12/6/2013) | The Gustavian Weekly

By Justin Feit Calender Editor | December 6, 2013 | Calendar

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather the Easter Bunny’s plans to overthrow Santa Claus. It seems like he got sidetracked.

Friday, Dec. 6

Faculty Shop Talk: Interpretive Center 4:30 p.m.

Just a quick recap of the professors’ Black Friday deals.

Christmas in Christ Chapel: Christ Chapel 7:30 p.m.

Has anyone told them that it isn’t Christmas yet?

Saturday, Dec. 7

Composting with Redworms: Interpretive Center 10 a.m.

It’s great that they are doing things for the environment, but redworms are the most resistent worms to“greening our culture.”

Shared Governance Discussion: Beck Hall 101 11 a.m.

The more I think about it, I should be doing more Ohle jokes. You never know what you’ve got till it’s gone . . .

Christmas in Christ Chapel: Christ Chapel 3:30 & 7:30 p.m.

I don’t think the old people are going to be ready for Christmas in Christ Chapel: REMIX.

Sunday, Dec. 8

Christmas in Christ Chapel: Christ Chapel 3:30 & 7:30 p.m.

At some point we should probably tell the new faculty what C in CC stands for.

Monday, Dec. 9

Student Senate Meeting: Board Room 7 p.m.

Beware the ides of March, Matthew Timmons CAESAR.

Tuesday, Dec. 10

The Winds of Christmas: Christ Chapel 10 a.m.

It’s windy enough on this damn campus already!

Refuge in No Delusions: The Identity Politics of School Reform: Linner Lounge 4 p.m.

Getting rid of Moodle is the real reform we need.

Wednesday, Dec. 11

Prepare Bible Study: Norelius Hall Pit 7:30 p.m.

Trying to avoid more “Bible study in The Dive?” jokes? YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE.

Thursday, Dec. 12

Festival of St. Lucia: Christ Chapel and Alumni Hall 10 a.m.

People only show up to this event to see if the candles on their heads will start their hair on fire.

English Department Christmas Party: Humanities Resource Center 5:30 p.m.

Because it’s an English party, they will be leaving biscuits and milk for Santa.

Feit-sty Not Really Horoscopes

Aries: Christmas in Christ Chapel: REMIX’s best song is going to be “Not So Silent Night.”

Taurus: Of course, that song is closely followed in hype by“Twerkin’Around the Christmas Tree.”

Gemini: And of course we can’t forget about everyone’s favorite “The Little 808 Drummer Boy.”

Cancer: Kids this year have been sending Santa Claus what they want for Christmas via Snapchat.

Leo: I feel bad for Rudolph. He’s had that cold, and consequently that red nose, for like fifty years now.

Virgo: When you think about it, aren’t all Christmas sweaters ugly?

Libra: Being happy when you get socks from Grandma is the true sign of a childhood lost.

Scorpio: Nothing screams guilt like the bells of a Salvation Army bellringer.

Sagittarius: Santa’s blood sugar must be out of control on Christmas morning.

Capricorn: I don’t want to be a whistleblower, but I don’t think OSHA has been to the North Pole workshop in a long time.

Aquarius: Finding out Santa isn’t real is like a real life M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.

Pisces: I bet Jesus didn’t have stupid myrrh on his Christmas list.