The Gustavian Weekly

Calendar (11/30/12) | The Gustavian Weekly

By Justin Feit Calendar Editor | November 30, 2012 | Calendar

The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but the random utterings of some guy who just got his wisdom teeth removed.

Friday, Nov. 30

Christmas in Christ Chapel: Christ Chapel 7:30 p.m.

The “Silent Night” remix is going to be dope.

Weekend Movie: Total Recall: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 p.m.

I’m totally trying to recall this movie, but I have nothing.

Saturday, Dec. 1

Christmas in Christ Chapel: Christ Chapel 3:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.

Music so nice, they are having this event twice.

Weekend Movie: Total Recall: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 p.m.

I also can’t recall the last time Collin Farrell was relevant.

Sunday, Dec. 2

Weekend Movie: Total Recall: Wallenberg Auditorium 2 p.m.

Let’s be real, this is a remake of an Arnold Schwarzenegger. You know how it will be.

Christmas in Christ Chapel: Christ Chapel 3:30 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.

If Manspider is conducting, it’s going to sound like s@#$.

Monday, Dec. 3

Interim Career Exploration Deadline: 

They crush the dreams of humanities majors here.

Thirty Minute Cardio Abs: Lund 224 7:30 p.m.

It’ll take far more than thirty minutes to undo Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, Dec. 4

Yoga, GHP Fitness Class: Lund 217 12:40 p.m.

Given the number of yoga pants on this campus, it should be packed.

Wednesday, Dec. 5

Intro to Mac: Culpeper Language Center 2:30 p.m.

Not to be confused with the Scottish name etymology seminar of the same name.

Apple-ication: Apple Treats & Application Workshop: Library 7 p.m.

The A-PC-lication just wasn’t as trendy or cool.

Prepare Bible Study: IC Lounge 7:30 p.m.

They only read the story where the bear mauls the children.

Thursday, Dec. 6

Wellbeing Coffee & Conversation: Courtyard Café 10:30 a.m.

Hold off on the sugar and creamer, though.

“Shared Space . . . Connections in Space” Dance Concert: The Kresge Dance Studio 8 p.m.

Dancers aren’t good at rhyming.

Feit-sty Horoscope

Aries: And after the final Twilight movie was released, order was finally restored to humanity.

Taurus: You didn’t participate in No Shave November because you can’t grow a beard.

Gemini: One of these days somebody is going to blow the whistle at the North Pole workshop. Just because it’s cold doesn’t mean it isn’t a sweatshop.

Cancer: Everyone was mad that Lance Armstrong cheated, but it was worth it. The French still had to watch an American“win”seven years in a row.

Leo: Type II diabetes licks its chops this time of year.

Virgo: No one found your joke of paying to see Lincoln with only pennies and five dollar bills very funny.

Libra: Eventually a live action Aladdin will be made with Prince as Jafar.

Scorpio: You win for having the coolest sign of the zodiac.

Sagittarius: Thanksgiving has given you a food baby that will last nine months.

Capricorn: Pretty soon good looking Christmas sweaters are going to be a party theme.

Aquarius: You’ve gotta believe that Ashton Kutcher is going to eventually tell CBS that Two and a Half Men was just an elaborate scheme from Punk’d.

Pisces: Wait, do people here not like President Ohle?