The Gustavian Weekly

Calendar (9/7/12)

By The Weekly Staff | September 7, 2012 | Calendar

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The Gustavian Weekly, but are in fact a list of all the things you really ought to do in your four years at Gustavus. Like build a fort in the Arb, sacrifice a goat, open a bazaar in the campus center and trick-or-treat at Ohle’s.

Friday, Sept. 7

Sophomore Socials: Johns Family Courtyard 3:00 p.m. – 5:00 p.m.

You gotta mingle to get the Pringle.

Community Service Fair: Campus Center Upper Level 5:00 p.m.

Not as fun as it sounds.  You pick up trash in between Ferris wheel rides.

WITNESSES+S’more of Jesus Bonfire: WITNESSES:  Chapel, 7:00 p.m. Bonfire:  Complex Fire Pit, 8:30 p.m.

S’more of Jesus?  He must have been sneaking a few extra marshmallows when no one was looking.

Theatre Auditions: Anderson Theatre 5:30 p.m.

Don’t wear your heart on your sleeve.  Your shirt will get all bloody, and you have to do your own laundry now.

Weekend Movie: Cabin in the Woods: Linnaeus Arboretum 8:00 p.m.

Cabin in the Woods by a cabin in the woods?!  Next week they plan on showing Twister by that tornado sculpture.

Saturday, Sept. 8

Dueling Pianos: Alumni Hall 7:00 p.m.

Aaron Burr was killer on the electric piano.

Weekend Movie: Cabin in the Woods: Wallenberg Auditorium 8:00 p.m.

I’m glad that it will be back in Wallenberg.  I was getting a sinking feeling about where they were going to show Titanic.

Sunday, Sept. 9

Weekend Movie:  Cabin in the Woods: Wallenberg Auditorium 2:00 p.m.

Nothing gets me quite as excited as a good film about sound home architecture.

Tuesday, Sept. 11

Fall Internship Registration Deadline 2012: Center for Servant Leadership

It’s called a deadline because that’s how you’ll feel after not getting paid.

Involvement Fair: Eckman Mall 4:00 p.m.

It seems like a big party when you are there, but then the unwanted e-mail hangover hits.  And it hits hard.

Lecture and book signing with author Wes Moore: Christ Chapel 7:00 p.m.

Now which Wes Moore is this?  The other one?  I can’t handle more Moore.

Thursday, Sept. 13

Teachers Talking: President’s Dining Room 11:30 a.m.

To all returning students out there, this is all the first week of class really is.

Feit-sty Horoscope

Aries: Yes, Sam-I-Am is dead.  Pork products are not meant to be consumed when they are green.  Everyone knows that.

Taurus: Cap’n Crunch has got to be pissed he hasn’t moved up in the Navy after all these years.

Gemini: Behave out there.  Mike English is coming for you on his Segway trike fueled by a moustache and a thirst for justice.

Cancer: Punters are the Ron Pauls of professional football.

Leo: You are probably already sick of caf food.

Virgo: My vote in November will go to the party with the best hors d’oeuvres.

Libra: Hunt’s is the unloved problem child of the ketchup industry.

Scorpio: Does conserving fabric by wearing skinny jeans count as going green?

Sagittarius: I finally get why they call the chicken nuggets at McDonald’s McNuggets!

Capricorn: The sesquicentennial seems like it has gone on for 150 years now.

Aquarius: I don’t care what you want to be called, if your last name is Murphy, I’m calling you “Murph.”

Pisces: Your dreams of starting up a Nepalese cat store called “Catmandu” are becoming a reality, my friend.