Calendar (02/17/12)

The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The Gustavian Weekly, but is in fact the drunk guy who won’t stop talking to you at the bar. He just that guy. That pain in the ass guy. No. I don’t want to do kareokee with you. You’re going to have a jug band come and live with you. Make of this what you will.

Friday, Feb. 17

The Excelsior! Trio in Concert : Bjorling Recital Hall @ 7:30 p.m.

The punctuation! is all f&%ked up.

Assassins, The Musical: Evelyn Anderson Theater @ 8:00 p.m.

Music, booze, drugs, and violence! It’s just like a regular Friday at Gustavus.

Weekend Movie: Puss in Boots

Wallenberg Auditorium @ 7:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.

I tried to make a live action version of this movie. Apparently a lot of people get really self rightious if you go around sword fighting stray cats.

Saturday, Feb. 18

Assassins, The Musical: Evelyn Anderson Theater @ 8:00 p.m.

“Christ. I need to go see this play like I need a hole in the head.” -Abraham Lincoln, April 14, 1865

Weekend Movie: Puss in Boots

Wallenberg Auditorium @ 7:00 p.m. & 10:00 p.m.

This is a very different movie on the internet.

Saturday Night in Lund with CAB: Lund @ 10:00 p.m.

As a senior, I can defintily say this is just like the real SNL. It used to be better.

Sunday, Oct. 12

Weekend Movie: Puss in Boots

Wallenberg Auditorium @ 2:00 p.m.

You notice how many cartoon characters get away with wearing just one artical of clothing?

Yet, when I do it, its a problem.

Double standard.

Assassins, The Musical: Evelyn Anderson Theater @ 2:00 p.m.

“Oh, God Damn it! This is the last time someone steals my seat!” -John Wilkes Booth, April 14, 1865

Auditions for Origin Story: Black Box Theatre @ 6:00 p.m.

I can tell you your origin story, but you won’t be able to look your parents in the eye for about a month.

Monday, Feb. 20

Gustie for a Day: Campus Center @ 8:00 a.m.

Here, this packet contains brochers on proper techniques for getting over involved and then letting everyone know how stressed out you are. 

Also, here’s a pill that will make you super passionate about a social issue. Don’t worry. The effects wear off in about a week, and you won’t think of it again until next year.

The Movers Walking Club: Lund – Information Desk @ 12:40 p.m.

My new organization will be expelling the Movers from the clergy in shame and scandle. Come join the Movers Defrocking club.

(My God, I’m reaching for them these days.)

Lecture by Philosopher Joshua Brown: Some Philosophical Lessons of Chemical Atomism: Old Main 06 @ 4:30 p.m.

If Chemical Atomism is both Chemistry and Philosophy, I demand a double major.

Tuesday, Feb. 21

Frost Week: Window Painting: Cafe @ 6:30 p.m.

Is there a cash prize? ‘Cause LineUs don’t get out of bed for less than $500 and a gold plated Persian cat.

Teachers Talking Technology: Heritage Banquet Room @ 11:30 a.m.

Literally. The talk is strictly in binary.

Wednesday, Feb. 22

“Restoring Civic Education” audio conference and conversation Library – AV Room I @ 2:30 p.m.

I tried to have a non-audio conversation one time. I don’t think the guy could hear me through the invisible box, though.

Thursday, Feb. 23

Frost Week: Variety Show: Alumni Hall @ 7:00 p.m.

It may all suck, but at least it will suck in a lot of different ways.

Shady Horoscope

Aries: Tied down and forced to watch meet the parents. With the soundtrack replaced with a Jewish klezmer.

Taurus: Don’t invite people to see your wig collection this week.

Gemini: 40 Lobster Bisque.

Cancer: You’re going to have a jug band come and live with you. Make of this what you will.

Leo: You’re going to trip, fall, and break your spirit.

Virgo: You use Foursquare? Become the mayor of Jack Ohle’s house. See what happens to the balance of power.

Libra: Plant a flag in your roommates stuff. Expand your empire from there.

Scorpio: You’re going to have to shimmy for your life this week.

Sagittarius: Wait. I thought you were dead.

Capricorn: You’re sure panda meat is illegal? You’re sure?

Aquarius: Dubbloons are coming back. Stock up.

Pisces: With the Mayan calendar running out, we need to start making up new epochs. First one: Age of the deer mouse.