The Gustavian Weekly

Calendar (12/7/12) | The Gustavian Weekly

By Justin Feit Calendar Editor | December 7, 2012 | Calendar

The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but actually Santa’s notes. Seems like the old man’s lost his mind.

Friday, Dec. 7

Benefits of Learning a Foreign Language: Culpeper Language Center 4 p.m.

The only benefit I care about is knowing how to swear in a foreign language.

Theta Babysitting: The Dive 5:30 p.m.

IGS is going to be there this year to make sure no hazing happens during Chutes and Ladders.

Michael Johnson in Concert: Bjorling Recital Hall 8 p.m.

Track & field enthusiasts will be disappointed to learn that this isn’t the four time Olympic gold medalist sprinter.

Weekend Movie: The Odd Life of Timothy Green: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 p.m.

This is CAB encouraging students to stay in and study this weekend.

Saturday, Dec. 8

Weekend Movie: The Odd Life of Timothy Green: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 p.m.

The average Gustie has more finals than the number of people who want to see this movie.

Sunday, Dec. 9

Weekend Movie: The Odd Life of Timothy Green: Wallenberg Auditorium 2 p.m.

The first part of this movie’s description is, “A childless couple bury a box in their backyard.” What fun!

Monday, Dec. 10

Language Learning Apps for iPhone/iPad/iPod Touch Users: Culpeper Language Center 12:45 p.m.

iThink Gustavus has too many Apple events.

Inupiaq Language and Culture: Culpeper Language Center 4 p.m.

Grab your baqpaq and learn some Inupiaq.

Tuesday, Dec. 11

New Faculty Orientation Session: Banquet Room B 11:30 a.m.

It’s a good thing this is happening a week before finals.

Poetry Reading by Professor Becky Fremo: Interpretive Center 7 p.m.

Prime time for some rhyme.

Wednesday, Dec. 12

Food Shelf Drive: Lower Level Campus Center Until December 20

Can we donate extra Caf money?

English Department Senior Thesis Presentations: Confer 123 4 p.m.

Or “how I plan on paying for student loans without a job.”

Thursday, Dec. 13

Scandinavian Yuletide Breakfast: Banquet Room 8 a.m.

Yule be sorry if you don’t come to this.

English Christmas Party: Confer 230 6 p.m.

Yes, there are a lot of plugs for the English department. But I’m an English major, and it’s my section of The Weekly. IT’S MINE!

Feit-sty Horoscope

Aries: The Caf is behind global warming because they are sick of people stealing their trays.

Taurus: Your love of playing Christmas music too early will be your bloody end.

Gemini: So you’re saying Santa needed a genetically mutated reindeer to see in the fog even though he can make a sleigh fly? I’ll call shenanigans on that one.

Cancer: It’ll be emotional for the seniors when they take their final final fall final.

Leo: Ben Affleck’s comeback is a true Christmas miracle.

Virgo: With Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, and all the others, it’s safe to say that December has put you in quite the holidaze.

Libra: Hug a Viking fan today. They probably need it.

Scorpio: Arbor Day must be really jealous of Christmas.

Sagittarius: J-Term is just Gustavus’ Christmas after-party.

Capricorn: Distinguishing whether your professor said to “finish your test” or to“Finnish your test”is a real concern for Scandinavian Studies student.

Aquarius: The Christmas tree industry is fueled by drug addicts afraid to re-use needles.

Pisces: It wouldn’t be a surprise to hear that Sir Mix-A-Lot is now just an aptly named bartender.