Do not watch alone in your room with the lights off

The suggestion offered above is for all those Gusties out there who would like to enjoy their bedroom for the remainder of the school year. I have since had a nightlight installed.

Cabin in the Woods tells the story of five college students who decide the upcoming weekend is prime for taking a janky old motorhome to a pleasantly abandoned cabin. This cabin is conveniently far enough away from anything that if anyone needed saving for any reason at all, it would be nearly impossible.

The story follows these five friends as they enjoy their beer infused evenings of Truth or Dare and swimming until they discover the basement of the cabin. From my comfortable bed I shouted at them not to enter the creepy, lightless cellar. But, like all stupid horror film characters, they went anyway.

The movie has two angles, or points of view, one from the victims and the other from back at headquarters. We, the audience, learn that headquarters is home to endless amounts of voyeuristic cameras and various other instruments, basically controlling the cabin and the gruesome deaths of these youths. But more is beneath their spying than just watching.

This horror film is not so gory in the first half. It does, however, unfold into one of the bloodiest scenes I think I have ever seen. And I saw 300 and Spartacus: Blood and Sand. From a horror film standpoint it is fairly entertaining, following all of the traditional horror film stereotypes and plotlines. All in all, it keeps you on your toes.

This weekend’s movie is showing in the Arb. What a fantastic place to watch such a movie. I advise everyone to go! If you have someone you feel comfortable holding onto very tightly, I advise you to bring this person. The scariest parts are not the typical “WHAM! A killer is behind you,” complete with suspenseful symbol crash or dissonant music. Rather, they come in the disturbing moments of voyeurism. I shall say no more.

If you’re one that loves horror/thriller movies, then I’d definitely point a finger in your face and tell you to go see this film. If you’re not, then I’m sure you could find Toy Story 3 at a RedBox or on Netflix. I give Cabin in the Woods three and a half stars out of five.