…taking out the trash During his term as Mayor of New York City, Rudy Giuliani instituted a comprehensive law enforcement plan that he believed would lead to an overall reduction in crime rates in his city. The plan? Clean the streets of New York. Keep them clean of trash, broken windows, graffiti, et cetera. The theory behind all this was that by changing small things … Continue reading The skeptical Prince is…
I spent the 2010-2011 school year as an untouchable, a member of the lowest social class here at Gustavus. I was a Collegiate Fellow. I can’t complain too much about this dark time in my social life. I did, after all, apply for the position, after being lured in by the promise of my own free room. I did not know, however, that Collegiate Fellows are … Continue reading In defense of Collegiate Fellows
Why I am not a Gustie Greeter Alright, that’s enough. Ma’am? I’m serious, let go of your son. For god’s sake woman, get a grip. You’re acting like he’s going off to fight the Communists or something. Come on, he’s not going to die, ma’am. There are only two-hundred thirty-three different ways to die on this campus, twenty fewer than St. Olaf. So we’ve got … Continue reading The adjective noun
* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but are in fact a magical fish that will grant you three wishes. But be ye warned, this fish has a terrible sense of irony. Continue reading Calendar 09/09/11
Fruits and vegetables were created for everyone but Adam and Eve, so why don’t we utilize this valuable resource? We live in a nation filling their stomachs with high-fructose corn syrup, fast food, and Lucky Charms. Lucky the Leprechaun is on to something, but his undeniable appeal leads many toward the wrong rainbow. Following a rainbow of processed foods has you looking down at your … Continue reading Eat Me
The Gustavus Men’s soccer team is off to a fast start led by Senior Economics Major Doug Frey and Senior Biology Major Ben Ceder, two of five captains at the helm of this experienced group. The Gusties hope to improve upon their 2010 record of 10-5-3 (5-2-3 MIAC), which yielded a 5th place conference finish. “Our coach likes to tell us to play with a … Continue reading Men’s Soccer: Cruzin’ to California
It’s that time of year when Gusties are welcomed back to the hill by award-winning caf food and trays of frost-your-owns. Between daily caloric temptations and the busy schedules of the average college student, it can be difficult to find time to stay in shape and fight off that third-year thirty. If you’re looking for a quick and effective way to fit in a killer … Continue reading Athletic Advice
Friday, September 2 • Campus Safety responded to a Medical Assist in Norelius Hall. • A Gustavus student was cited for underage consumption, while in Southwest Hall. Saturday, September 3 • Campus Safety responded to a medical assist at the International Center. Sunday, September 4 • Two Gustavus students were charged by Campus Safety for underage consumption and a third student was charged … Continue reading Campus Safety Report (Sept 9th, 2011)
