So does anyone remember Disney’s Hercules of our childhood 13 years ago? Yeah, Clash of the Titans is kind of like that. On steroids. And crack. On a bad day.

Louis Leterrier’s (Transporter, Transporter 2) Clash of the Titans is a reimagining of a 1981 film of the same name. I do not claim to have seen the original, and therefore will draw no comparisons here.

That being said, I can only imagine that the script changed drastically over the past 30 years. The plot of Clash of the Titans is, for all intents and purposes, nonexistent. If you are looking for a thinker at the theaters this weekend, cross Clash off of your list. You are not going to be too challenged here.

Clash of the Titans achieves its purpose of packing as many high octane fight scenes into its 110 minute run time as possible. However, it is clear from the outset that the story which advances you from fight to fight was tacked on as an afterthought. Any premise of a plot is also hindered by such shoddily written lines as, “We live. We fight. We die.”

If you have not gathered quite yet, Clash of the Titans utterly oozes machismo. To the movie’s credit, however, the fight scenes themselves are often quite impressive and epic in scope and were definitely the movie’s high points. From time to time during the adrenaline-pumping, fast-paced battles, though, I found myself wishing the action would slow down a bit, as it was difficult to follow who was slaying what.

In regards to Greek mythology, Clash of the Titans chose to take the macrocosmic approach. Anyone who knows anything at all about Greek mythology should be able to pick out multiple cameos of creatures from the movie’s mythical menagerie.

From the Pegasus to the Kraken, the mythological creatures are beautifully rendered in CG, and they are often more entertaining than the movie’s protagonist, Perseus (Sam Worthington, Avatar).

Worthington’s performance is somewhat wooden and definitely overly macho. Liam Neeson, who plays Zeus, is underrepresented, along with the rest of the pantheon of Greek gods. While we see an ensemble of gods, we only hear four of them speak; of those four, two have only one line!

It is regrettable that this movie was able to sign such stars as Neeson and Ralph Fiennes (otherwise known as Voldemort in the Harry Potter series) and underutilize them to such an extent, while focusing so much on Worthington’s lackluster performance.

Overall, the special effects of Clash of the Titans are one of its very few saving graces. Unfortunately, the fake creatures and sceneries seem to set a precedence for a fake script and acting as well.

Clash of the Titans may be able to satisfy your craving if you are looking for an over-the-top action flick this weekend, but otherwise steer clear. I give Clash of the Titans one out of three crowns.