Shedding some light on learning The dust has settled and as registration for spring semester classes wraps up, you realize that you’ve somehow ended up with an 8:00 a.m. class.  It’s going to be a 50-minute nearly-impossible struggle against nodding off, right?  Not necessarily. It’s possible that your alertness during class may not depend on the amount of light rising over the eastern horizon, but … Continue reading Some assembly required

Writing romantically Fifteen years ago, an aspiring screenwriter sauntered into a lunch with an accomplished television producer, a meeting he was not the least bit prepared for. Not knowing what the lunch was really about, he panicked and wildly pitched an idea for a show that would eventually come to define the way millions of Americans viewed government and public service. That show was the … Continue reading Veni, vedi, weekly

Gee, my pens just aren’t feminine enough Said no one ever. So Bic. They make pens and razors and other things. I’m going to introduce a possible life-changer. Right here. In text. Bic’s Cristal For Her: The Cristal reserved for women! is now in a Target or Wal-Mart store near you. This entirely new line of pens by Bic just adds “for her” to the … Continue reading Da snark

Could this possibly be an act of war? First off, I would like to congratulate Andy Bryan on last week’s column, “Why I Can’t Care About Same-Sex Marriage.” With that said, I must now warn you that this article will in fact raise some questions and frustration amongst readers as did the previous article by Mr. Bryan. However, if you feel frustrated and angered by … Continue reading The hidden truth

Why I can’t care about same-sex marriage When I decided on this article’s topic, I realized that it would offend the majority of people who read it. If you are one of those people, I sincerely apologize. Also, I urge you to develop thicker skin. This is a political article, and I find modern politics to be a source of incessant personal offense. Each time … Continue reading Food for thought

Dear antifeminists, this is what you sound like. Love, The Satirist Once upon a time, feminists fought for voting rights, and later, for career and educational privileges for women. These entitlements dragged women from their beloved stoves, fulfilling housework and darling children. The feminist movement: a cause run by hairy, bra-burning women that forced liberal, anti-family and unwanted “rights” onto women. The feminist movement was … Continue reading And so it goes

The not-so distant future I always tease with my friends that I can’t wait to be eighty. No more work, no more money issues . . . ten years of life expectancy. I’m honest when I say it would be nice to be an 80 year-old who’s worked his share and retired. At the same time, it’s horrifying to think of all the life that … Continue reading A tip from your bonny lass

God who? God is something that people talk about a lot. God has been used to proclaim truth to the masses and God has also been used by Sir Mix-A-lot when he said, “Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.” It seems as though the definition of God is a bit flexible. God has been used in a religious context, in a political context, … Continue reading Cloudy with a chance of musing

It takes a village This election cycle is one that has yielded more apathy and distrust of the political process than most others in recent memory. Perhaps we owe it to the exhausting and drawn-out process of the Republican primary, or maybe it’s fueled by the disappointment of Obama supporters who in 2008 predicted a futuristic utopian society after his first four years. It could … Continue reading Veni, vedi, weekly