* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather the script notes Nic Cage left for National Treasure. The guy gets into his roles. Friday, Nov. 15 Faculty Shop Talk: Interpretive Center 4:30 p.m. All of the profs are super excited about shopping for the PlayStation 4. Hmong New Year Open Mic Night: Courtyard Café 7 … Continue reading Calendar (11/15/2013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but the lyrics to a hidden track from 98 Degrees’ Christmas album. Friday, Nov. 8 Minnesota Private College Job and Internship Fair: Library AV1 2 p.m. I’ve never seen people so cut-throat over jobs that do not pay a dime. Shared Governance Discussion: St. Peter Room 2:30 p.m. Ohle … Continue reading Calendar (11/9/2013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The Gustavian Weekly, and they aren’t paid for by Jason Derulo despite what you might infer from the horoscopes. Friday, Nov. 1 Anderson Theatre Presents “Trojan Barbie”: Anderson Theatre 8 p.m. Glamorous pink Trojan horse sold separately. Weekend Movie: We’re the Millers: Wallenberg Auditorium 8 p.m. I’m surprised they didn’t “weed” this movie … Continue reading Calendar (11/1/2013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather my own personal calendar because literally nothing happens during Fall Break. Friday, Oct. 18 Faculty Meeting: Alumni Hall 2:30 p.m. Now that they have driven their students to their wits’ end before Fall Break, they brag to each other. Saturday, Oct. 19 I’m Going to … Continue reading Calendar (10/18/2013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather the Nobel lecture that I was inexplicably not allowed to give this year . . . Friday, Oct. 4 Speaking Fear Reduction: Culpeper Language Center 2:30 p.m. The real problem with this exercise is that everyone is too afraid to say anything helpful. Arb Night … Continue reading Calender (10/4/2013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather the lyrics to Shaggy’s “It Wasn’t Me.” Nobody knows what the hell he’s saying. Friday, Sept. 27 Homecoming: Pep Fest: Lund Forum 6 p.m. Not to be confused with Big Hill Farm’s annual jalapeño showcase. Homecoming: The Pizza-Off: Lund Forum 6:30 p.m. Whoever hands out more … Continue reading Calendar (9/27/2013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather the introduction to the textbook you didn’t buy. Read up, there is a quiz on Monday. Friday, Sept. 20 Gustavian Weekly Opinion Columnist Applications Due  Opinion Editor Kristina Ericksen is holding me at gunpoint to write this one. Society of Gustavus Geologists Fall Grill-Out: Johns Family Courtyard … Continue reading Calender (9/20/1013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The Gustavian Weekly, but rather the manuscript of President Obama’s Syria speech.  I think he’s skirting around the issues. Friday, Sept. 13 Russian Tea: Phi Beta Kappa Room 4 p.m. The Americans also defeated the heavily favored Russians in tea brewing at the 1980 Olympics. Weekend Movie: Man of Steel: Wallenberg … Continue reading Calender (9/13/2013)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but rather the lyrics of the radio edit of NWA’s “F@#$ tha Police.” They really tame that song down. Friday, Sept. 6 Title IX Training for New Faculty: Jackson Campus Center 2:30 p.m. Who will conduct this discussion about misconduct? Weekend Movie: The Purge: The Arb 9 p.m. Lying … Continue reading Calender (9/6/2013)