It’s a new school year at Gustavus Adolphus College.

For some of us, that means new roommates and sharing a confined area with someone you barely know.

You may have some opinions that differ, but what if your new roommate has a greatly different personality and energy level than you?

Or maybe they’re on the complete opposite side of the political spectrum?

What can you do to get along with this person?

How do you talk to someone that you would normally cross the proverbial street to avoid?

As a competitive hockey player growing up in California, my schedule was very busy and the easy answer for me was indeed to cross the street, with collar turned up, ear-buds in, and sunglasses on, even at night.

How do you talk to someone that you would normally cross the proverbial street to avoid?

Many of the people that I had to interact with were either unpleasant or just annoying, so I avoided them altogether to reduce the headache of being around them.

Then I left home to play junior hockey.

Armed with only my car and whatever money I could earn, I relocated to a town in the middle of a scenic valley: Bozeman, Montana.

At first, I was nervous and anxious.

Who would I meet?

Would I fail at the most important thing in my life so far?

While first settling in on the team, I had some real trouble feeling comfortable with my new squad.

I was the scraggly-faced new kid with a mane of hair that resembled a lion on a bad hair day.

I was even late on the first scheduled meeting with the team, which didn’t help with my image.

It’s hard to be confident when you’re the random unknown rookie.

I didn’t have practice in verbal jousting or being social with people different from me.

This made it even more difficult to successfully interact at crucial times during a game.

Thankfully, it eventually got better.

Once I was able to show off what I could do on the ice, they respected me enough that we could have a conversation, and I could get to know them more.

We talked about things that didn’t involve skates and sticks, expressed different opinions, and in some cases, became close friends.

All of this, because we came from a place of mutual respect.

The coach was a different matter.

Coach was a strong-willed and committed man.

I was the scraggly-faced new kid with a mane of hair that resembled a lion on a bad hair day.

He was able to have fun and tease the guys when the time was right, but he was also very serious during the season.

The biggest difference between the coach and myself was our political views.

However, even though we had polar opposite opinions, I appreciated how he was committed to explaining his stances on certain matters, while allowing me to contradict him.

At no point did I ever feel that he was dismissive, nor did he try to change my way of thinking.

If only the presidential debates could have been as civil as our own!

He was very good at making arguments for his side, and I was actually quite impressed.

While he didn’t persuade me, he did give me a vastly different perspective into the mind of a political opposite.

This newfound knowledge was put to the test when an “ultra-spiritual-but-not-religious” person opened her home to me for the summer while I held a junior coaching job in Michigan.

We did have some similarities in our politics, but some of the things she shared with me seemed crazy.

She spends a great deal of time on Facebook organizing events and moderating groups.

One day after work she decided to go on a rant:

“I was just on Facebook and I was trying to organize my events.

“I was called racist when I was the one who was just trying to get the community together so we could all unite in these turbulent times.

“If I had more money I’d be able to make more of these happen because then I’d have a car, and I wouldn’t have to worry about finding a steadier job.

“I have that kind of power to make myself super rich, but the universe wouldn’t let me be greedy because there’d be a disruption of power, and I shouldn’t do that because I have too much power and energy to be messing around with the balance of the universe.

“If only other people would realize that I am trying to save them!”

This was the most baffling string of sentences I had ever heard, yet it was unsurprising considering other things she would say normally.

My face couldn’t hide that “What the heck did I just listen to?” look because, without a doubt, that was the craziest rant I’d ever heard in person.

How can anyone be heroically selfless AND have delusions of grandeur?

Conversations are definitely more engaging when there’s respect between parties, so they can speak their minds without fear ob being lambasted.

At first, I thought I was going to have to move because this person was unstable, but despite all of the craziness I kept my cool and heard her out.

I gave her my full attention and only interrupted her to ask the occasional question.

Letting her say what she thought was important, while giving her enough respect to have a good conversation, calmed her down.

So, despite it not being ideal, I didn’t have to move.

I was able to continue my coaching job for the remaining part of the summer.

Conversations are definitely more engaging when there’s respect between parties, so they can speak their minds without fear of being lambasted.

There’s no doubt that you will meet those new people who will annoy you.

If you handle them with respect, you will find that there is a way to understand and appreciate the many perspectives here at Gustavus and in the world in general.