How many people can say they have traveled to Cuba? I am so grateful to be able to say that I have, especially in light of the 2016 presidential election, the results of which will be pivotal in determining future U.S. relations with Cuba. I spent two weeks in the controversial country during J-term with a class called Cuba: Religion, Culture, and Identity.

I know how cliché it is to say as a college student that my time abroad was life-changing, but it truly was a transforming trip.

I entered the experience believing that I would find clarity concerning Cuba; however, I came back with more questions than answers. On top of my own questions, I have had so much trouble attempting to answer questions from my friends and family in a way that doesn’t minimize my time abroad to a tourist vacation.

I received all the typical questions about the old cars, Communism, Fidel Castro, and rum. These are the expectations I had of Cuba before leaving too. I also thought I would be enjoying two sunny weeks away from January and had that expectation squashed immediately as we were greeted by a whole week of pouring rain. The weather was not at all what I was expecting, but neither was the rest of Cuba.

To think that any culture or country can be defined so easily is crazy, but especially for one that is still so young in its national ideas. Cuba is a complex and diverse society that cannot be summed up in a few words or a quick anecdote. Therefore, I’m not going to try.

I will try to convey why this experience was transforming for me. First and foremost, being in Cuba made me realize how biased the small amount of  information we learn about Cuban society and history in school is. It’s so difficult to become aware of the problems within a system when you are completely entrenched in it. It was only stepping outside of the United States that I realized how affected we are by all facets of our society.

The aspect that stood out most to me about American culture once I was outside of it is the adamant individualism. If you grow up in the United States, you’re taught to always ‘march to the beat of your own drum,’ to be independent, and to not rely on others for fulfillment.

These are the messages I built my identity around. Of course, they’re not all bad – we need diverse and independent people to keep the world running. However, this mentality can also neglect the basic need we have as humans to connect and build deep relationships.

One of the activities we did while in Cuba is called an “open space” where a group of people come together for an open and meaningful dialogue. We had the pleasure of talking to many Cubans from different backgrounds and beliefs during our stay, but this provided an opportunity to get to know some of them on a deeper level.

There are many nuggets of wisdom that I took from this dialogue, but there is one that struck me then and has continued to make me think. A babalawo, a priest in the Afro-Cuban religion of Santería, said, “sharing is superior to fighting, but it’s also more difficult.”

This made me step back and reflect on the competitive society I live in. We are constantly fighting to be the best and stepping on people in the process. Success is great, but what if we stopped to get to know the people we were stepping on instead? It would make the journey a lot slower and more difficult, but we would get the opportunity to grow personally, rather than grow our wallets.

We can’t develop personally if we don’t fulfill our need for human connection. The only way we can thrive is through understanding one another by sharing our experiences and finding common ground rooted in our humanity. To develop and improve ourselves and our world is not an easy task, but it is a struggle worth pursuing, especially in a society hopelessly devoted to individualism.

This isn’t to say that Cuba is perfect; no country is. Nevertheless, Americans could stand to learn a lot from Cuba’s dedication to humanity and betterment. I hope we are all given the chance.