Here is a maxim for your everyday life: always be discreet.

All of you who are reading this and smirking, I bet I can guess a handful of things you are thinking about doing discreetly. But I promise none of them are related to what I am about to discuss.

Because it is one of our pillars, there is a large and determined presence for social justice here at Gustavus. Issues ranging from racism to environmental conscientiousness are prevalent on our campus, and there are many people who are passionate about these matters and who want nothing more than to make a positive difference in our community and the larger global community in which we live. However, it has come to my attention that, in the heat of outrage, it can become easy to disregard the sensibilities of those around us, who may be experiencing the consequences of social injustice.

The issue of sexual violence and assault are hot topics, in content and in approach. This subject is also a very popular one for the social justice community. There are constant efforts to raise awareness about sexual assault and the rejections of normalization of a violent cultural attitude. Just look at the Building Bridges conference that took place earlier this month; it was dedicated to this very topic, designed to open a dialogue about a subject that can be very touchy for many.

This is great. Raising awareness and discussing topics such as sexual assault and violence within our culture is a wonderful thing for all of society. There is no question that it does a great service to those who are not well informed on the subject, or who are unwilling to acknowledge a problem. But this can also be beneficial to those who have personal experiences with sexual violence, and who would want such an issue to be exposed, and who would like some solution to these assaults to materialize.

But just because society in general, and specifically our society here at Gustavus, is becoming more open about the topic of sexual assault and the implications of a violent culture, it does not make the topic any less of a sensitive one. Especially to those who have experienced severe trauma by means of the issue at hand.

There needs to be more discretion in the way that awareness is implemented for sexual crimes, harassment, coercion, and the like. This is not to say that the topic or the discussion surrounding it needs to take a step back in any way. But bluntly using certain terminology can be painful for survivors to hear, especially tossed around in everyday conversations, informal classroom discussions, and advertisements.

An example of this that comes to mind is the intensive advertising of the aforementioned Building Bridges conference.

I am not picking on the conference by using it multiple times as an example. There are many other scenarios and events that would illustrate my point well, but the conference works best because it is such a huge event, and almost everyone saw the posters I am going to reference.

Many of the posters and advertisements for the events used explicit language—i.e., (and sorry to be blunt) “rape culture”—and these advertisements were made extremely public and visible to everyone who passed. You couldn’t even walk down the sidewalk without seeing calls to action, written in chalk, defaming “rape-culture” here at Gustavus and in our larger communities. Even the rock was painted with the message “stop rape-culture.”

A little effort and conscientiousness goes a long way.

I personally object to this term for several reasons, but mainly because it can be extremely jarring to see that phrase displayed so prominently in public places, especially for people who have dealt with the word in an extremely negative and personal context in the past. It isn’t that people who have experienced sexual violence first hand are not able to cope with the negative effects of such a phrase, but it is nonetheless beyond unpleasant and uncomfortable. Someone who is triggered by key words related to sexual assault should not have to live their daily lives while having to deal with the unexpected stress of reliving trauma because a random poster, conversation, or impromptu class debate triggers them. Even if the intentions behind these things may be goodhearted, they can often be painful.

And although there are many survivors of sexual violence who are themselves comfortable hearing and using particular terminology, not all survivors feel the same, and many have to come to this in their own time. But by constantly using the terminology, we are forcing people to move more quickly than they are willing or able.

Solution: be discreet. Raising awareness is great, but you can do this while avoiding certain words. Teach people to respect others, in every way. Society should not just push for progress for the cause, but respect victims of violence, and respect everyone and the hardships they may have overcome. Perhaps this seems a little unrealistic, but a little effort and conscientiousness goes a long way.

-Ashley Nickel