Explosion! Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol…

…destroys itself Life as a spy is the easiest possible life, because everywhere you turn there’s a computer with an eye scanner waiting to save your life or tell you what to do. At every inconvenience you have the perfect spy gadget to accommodate the situation with everything from frog hands (for walking up buildings, of course) to strong magnet suits (for hovering via negative … Continue reading Explosion! Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol…

A barrage of budgets; charlatans all

“What drags our entire economy down is when the benefits of economic growth and productivity go only to the few … the gap between those at the very, very top and everybody else keeps growing wider and wider and wider and wider.” So read the President’s teleprompter as he spoke in front of a rally in support of his “Buffet Rule” proposal last week. The … Continue reading A barrage of budgets; charlatans all

The hidden cost of voting

Voting in elections is a constitutionally given right. It’s one of those perks of young adulthood most Gusties have recently acquired. At 18, we can join the army, gamble, buy spray paint, porn and cigarettes. And, most importantly, we can finally vote. This November’s elections will be a first for many young Gusties, and the first chance to vote in a presidential election for a … Continue reading The hidden cost of voting

The black and gold standard

This past Thursday, Dr. Charles Krauthammer, Pulitzer Prize winning author and columnist for the Washington Post, came to speak at Gustavus as a part of the Lindau Symposium. By most accounts the event was a smashing success. Well over 600 people attended—so many in fact that the event filled one overflow room and moved into a second. Dr. Krauthammer gave an erudite and intelligent summation … Continue reading The black and gold standard

Calendar (04/20/12)

* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but are in fact an exact and painstaking transcript of the backward section of Missy Elliot’s song “Work It.” Friday, April 20 Day of Silence @ All Over All Day “I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something queer going on today.” Relay For … Continue reading Calendar (04/20/12)

Softball dreams big as playoffs approach

This softball season has been one with many highlights. The Gustavus women’s softball team has a winning record, beat its rival St. Thomas and has taken many trips including one to the Field of Dreams. The team is on a roll. They are 19-7 overall and 11-1 in the conference. The team has 12 conference games remaining and a non-conference double header before the MIAC … Continue reading Softball dreams big as playoffs approach

Trouble brewing in Twins territory

When thinking back to the inaugural season of Target Field, Twins fans remember consistent sell outs at the new outdoor park. Maybe the novelty has deteriorated, but a 15 percent drop in attendance this season thus far suggests a Minnesota-wide boredom with the 2012 Twins squad. One look at the 2012 roster leads the casual fan to ask: who?  Nathan, Kubel and Cuddyer, have been … Continue reading Trouble brewing in Twins territory

Lacrosse returns to Hollingsworth

After a long absence, the Gustavus men’s lacrosse team returned home to Hollingsworth Field to play in front of friends and family for the first time this school year. The club team hosted Minnesota State University Moorhead, University of North Dakota and Ripon College of Wisc. for a two-day tournament that took place on Saturday, April 14 and Sunday, April 15. The Gusties put on … Continue reading Lacrosse returns to Hollingsworth

Campus Safety Report (04/20/12)

Monday, April 9 •  A Gustavus employee reported the loss of campus keys. •  Campus Safety investigated a theft of college property in the Arboretum.   Wednesday, April 11 •  Campus Safety responded to an automobile accident in the Stadium Parking Lot.   Friday, April 1 •  Campus Safety responded to a Medical Assist at the Lund Center.  A Gustavus student was cited for an … Continue reading Campus Safety Report (04/20/12)