Sexual assault. It is a touchy topic, but it happens every day. According to the Minnesota Office of Justice Programs, there is one sexual assault every 83 minutes in Minnesota. There is one instance of sexual assault every two minutes in the United States. And it’s not only women who are being assaulted; the Minnesota Office of Justice Programs also reports that 12 percent of assault victims are men. This issue, defined by www.duhaime.org as “a sexual act upon or directed to another which is unwanted and not consented to by the other,” affects everyone.

“Healthy relationships are consensual,” Senior Communication Studies Honors Major Ally Pelton said. It is when disregard for others’ personal boundaries occurs that the line from fair to foul
is crossed.

So what would happen if everyone had a little more respect for other people’s wishes?

Mike Domitrz, founder of “Can I Kiss You?,” tries to elaborate this point with his interactive, informative and straight-forward presentation on healthy relationships, dating and sexual assault. After nearly twenty years of sharing his program with high schools, colleges and universities across the nation, Domitrz is an expert on his topic. He has spoken to thousands of students—more than a thousand of those students being Gusties.

With an average attendance of five hundred students crammed into Alumni Hall since its introduction to Gustavus in April 2005, the Gustavus community has warmly welcomed “Can I Kiss You?” as a Gustie tradition.

“It’s indicative of the Gustavus culture,” Pelton said.

It’s true that the “Can I Kiss You?” program has been wildly popular in the past. “There’s usually a line from Alumni Hall to the [Market Place] 40 minutes before it begins,” Senior Biology Major Adam Strand said.

Now, you might say that students are psyched about the chance to receive a free t-shirt by being one of the first 100 to queue up. Or, possibly, first-year students want to get their Gustavus passports punched for a chance at winning awesome prizes. However, there is probably a greater reason as to why Strand believes that it’s “a highlight for a lot of first-years.”

During the program, Domitrz calls on audience members to actively participate, puts on sketches, uses humor and drives home the principal points articulately.

“He makes you think twice about the issues he presents,” Junior Music Major Sam Grace said.
The message is also a key factor in the program’s success. Junior Nursing Major Brita Gilyard said, “[It is] a message of respect.”

There’s that key word again. Respect. The definition varies from person to person, but communication, verbal and nonverbal alike, is one way to achieve it.

So, Gusties, on Wednesday, Sept. 23, at 8:00 p.m. in Alumni Hall, you can come (and come early) to be a part of the tradition of “Can I Kiss You?”

Gusties ask. Do you?