As the school year winds down, I find myself suddenly a little sad by the prospect of graduation. We have had so many memories together, class of 2011, through good and bad, and you have been such a good friend to me these past three years. Go now if you must, but please stay in touch, and read this article carefully, because for many of … Continue reading Remembering seniors

In a recent publication of the Chronicle of Higher Education, I was shocked to discover just how little Gustavus faculty make in comparison to other colleges. Not even considering Doctoral and Graduate institutions, merely among the baccalaureate institutions in this country does Gustavus rank around the 40th percentile. A full professor at Gustavus makes $76,400, whereas a full professor at St. Olaf makes $91,100, at … Continue reading We need to pay professors more

Leafing through a library book, she tilts her head toward the window as a bird jovially tweeted the news of the day. If she was only a bit more fluent she could translate better. ‘Till then, the rough translation of the bird’s ode is “Another Monday, another cloudy day, I’ll tell you how the sun sets and leave the story about the sunrise to Ms. … Continue reading Leaf noted

Warning: Both idle and intentional double entendres abound. Absurdity is the foundation of humor, which is probably why we find sex so consistently funny. If you took away the desire and pleasure components of the sexual endeavor, I think we would all have a great deal of trouble not laughing whenever it comes up. I guess you would also have to remove our psychological investment … Continue reading Sex: The unenlightening opinions of a young, straight male

This past weekend I indulged in a juicy burger topped not with flaccid lettuce, ordinary cheese and banal ketchup, but with a delicious combination of peanut butter and barbeque sauce. It was sweet, it was nutty, it was—as you can imagine—quite gooey. The peanut butter brought out the sweetness of the barbeque sauce, and the tanginess of the barbeque sauce perfectly complemented the rich nuttiness … Continue reading Peanut butter and BBQ sauce: Delicious or disgusting?

As I write, I am staring out the third floor library window at the New Academic Building. Now that the exterior is mostly complete, we can see the final shape that years of hard work and millions of dollars have taken. However, as I sit in our library, I am reminded that I need to leave soon because the building closes at 6:00 p.m. on … Continue reading In which our hero prioritizes

Let me begin this little escapade in the defense of smoking by saying I don’t smoke. I don’t like cigarettes and think they’re disgusting. But I am the only one in my immediate family, who doesn’t smoke. I think that it’s a poor decision for individuals to make in general. Smoking itself has proven to have negative effects, and second-hand smoke can be harmful. That … Continue reading Smoking mad

Today’s column is going to be a little different. In a month from now, hundreds of Gusties (including me) will graduate from this institution—a thought big enough to shake the usual coherence from my writing style. First thought: what next?  We all have plans—some more concrete than others—but there are a lot of things to think about.  We live in boxes and for the last … Continue reading Examining life in disarray

It’s around a month until we all say our good-byes for the year and 75 percent of us will get to see each other next year. Dear Seniors, I can’t relate just yet, but seeing you all have minor and major meltdowns is making me seriously nervous. It’s amazing how easily I forget that I can’t be in college forever. Why can’t the best four … Continue reading Frozen at 20?