Features Editor- Eric Hofer Each year, more and more students run late to class. A student who shows up to class five minutes early in their freshman year may end up getting to class five minutes late by their senior year. Professors have had enough and decided to unite together to put a stop to it by replacing the current cement sidewalks with moving sidewalks, … Continue reading Gustavus Replaces Walkways with Moving Sidewalks
Features Editor- Eric Hofer The vernal equinox is here, with March 20th marking the official start of spring. However, with nearly nine inches of snow dumped on Gustavus over the course of a weekend, it’s not unreasonable to feel as if we’re right back in the middle of winter. The grass is buried, the air freezes your skin, and the sidewalks keep threatening to slip … Continue reading Fake Spring Strikes Again
Features Editor- Eric Hofer (This is an entirely fictional and satirical article) With the turn of the month, love fills the cold winter air at Gustavus once again. In addition to the staple February traditions on the hill, ranging from paper hearts around the campus to sending those you love cans of Crush, Dining Services is excited to roll out a new tradition. To celebrate … Continue reading Cafeteria to Undergo Fine Dining Transformation
Features Editor- Eric Hofer Jan. 30th is everyone’s favorite holiday: National Big Wig Day! To celebrate this momentous occasion, I’ve been meticulously mapping the positions of the Sun, Moon, and the planets to 100% accurately determine which wig most suits you. Continue reading Your Horoscope for National Big Wig Day
Features Editor- Eric Hofer January is nearly over, and chances are, so is your New Year’s resolution. Though it can feel like a reflection on your own capability or inner strength, the truth is, most of these failed resolutions are the result of poor structure. Many resolutions are built around an idealized version of life, one where we can maintain constant energy, motivation, and time … Continue reading How to Maintain New Year’s Resolutions
Features Editor: Eric Hofer Throughout Gustavus’ history, many buildings have come and gone. However, the housing selection has remained largely unchanged, with the exception of renovations and the additions of new residential halls. The only residence hall to be decommissioned and demolished (without the aid of the tornado) is Wahlstrom Hall, which had been in use from 1947 to its demolition in 2005. It was … Continue reading Gustavus History: Wahlstrom Hall
Features Editor- Eric Hofer As part of a midterm project, some Undead Biology students decided to go above and beyond to tackle something that no one has ever done before: resurrect the dead. In the past, there have been attempts to revive the dead. The results have varied, ranging from moderate explosions to the revived politely declining the resurrection. The group of students went a … Continue reading The Ghostavian Weekly: Eric Norelius Revived!
Features Editor- Eric Hofer Tales from Ghostavus’ First Interdimensional StudentLast year, as a part of a new initiative to promote multiversal diversity, Ghostavus has started accepting admissions from alternate planes of existence, including different dimensions and alternate timelines. To ‘get the ball rolling’, Admissions has started a foreign exchange program with the University of the Fifth Plane. As this program is still new, only one … Continue reading The Ghostavian Weekly
Opinion Editor and Staff Writer- Soph White Hello from United! I am Soph White, your opinion editor and co-interim president for United, which hosts the Gustie Pantry for other organizations to help navigate taking turns running and maintaining it while working towards bettering the pantry by all possible means. Our lovely president (and our Chief Editor for the paper), Junior Grace LaTourelle, is abroad enjoying … Continue reading Update from United: Gustie Pantry
Editor in Chief (studying abroad Fall 2025)- Grace LaTourelle Since the late 80s, Coca-Cola has been a beverage partner of Gustavus. Currently, Gustavus Dining Services are in year three of a seven-year re-negotiated pouring-rights contract with the Coca-Cola company. As information about this funding is not widely available on the Gustavus website, this article provides a deeper dive into the implications of the agreement for … Continue reading Coca-Cola Funding: an Unanswered Question of Morality
