OMG u guys i am so drunk rite now. i can barely type this. im almost as drunk as i was last friday nite. last friday nite the vagina monologues opened. haha thats so funny—the vaginas opened! but the only monologue my vagina had was with some guys crotch at the dive. it was so great. so heres what happened: i was wearing my new … Continue reading Can I stick my butt in your crotch?
The word passion might paint a picture of Fabio posing for his hundredth romance novel that your mom secretly reads. Passion is tied to feelings of love and lust and is often given a bad connotation. But, in fact, I feel quite the opposite! Passion is evident in all of our lives, whether in small quantities or bursting through your figurative seams. The passion I … Continue reading The importance of passion
Author’s note: The following is a work of satire. Please do not take it literally or personally. Whether or not this column’s title got your attention, I am going to discuss the topic of sex. This shouldn’t surprise you, since sex is talked about a lot on campus. A LOT. It seems like I can’t spend an hour in one spot without hearing about “the … Continue reading Abolish sex on campus
As we’re all made aware, serious political upheaval has shot across the Arab world in recent weeks. Largely fueled by similar factors across nations (long-standing autocracies, large proportion of unemployed youth, corruption and Facebook), these revolutions are disrupting the lives of millions in a way that is unprecedented in this millennium. Although there is no wall to tear down this time, it appears as if … Continue reading Democracy for all my friends
In last week’s Gustavian Weekly, there was an article about Relay For Life with a pictureof a female student holding a sign that said, “I Relay To Save Boobs!” I thought a point had been made when another letter to The Weekly last year complained about breast cancer T-shirts being sold that said, “I Love Boobs!” and I Am We Are had a skit in … Continue reading Re: Relay for Life
I would like to commend The Weekly for a fantastically witty shady character cartoon last week. In light of the case day article last year and the hubbub it caused, I felt that not running the customary case day article showed a lot of class and represented our school in a positive way, and showed the wit that is present at our fine school and … Continue reading Re: Case Day
March has finally arrived, giving us a chance to dream of shorts and shades. The spring thaw brings spring sports into focus, and many elements of winter are gratefully left behind. Unfortunately for many, spring will have to wait while we continue to endure the deep freeze our world remains beneath. However, members of the Gustavus Women’s Hockey team hope to keep the ice around … Continue reading Women’s Hockey: Deep freeze
Fresh off another disappointing first-round exit in last year’s American League Division Series, the Minnesota Twins are back on the diamond at their spring training facility in Florida with their sights set on a division three-peat and an end to their recent postseason struggles. Sitting in third place at the All-Star break last season, the Twins caught fire to finish 48-26 in the second half … Continue reading Twins ready for year two at Target Field
Without any seniors on the Men’s Tennis team roster, the Gusties have a lot of potential this year after a disappointing end to last season. The Gusties lost their stranglehold on the MIAC with a difficult 7-2 defeat in the MIAC Playoff Championships against the Carleton Knights. However, the Gusties return nearly everyone from the roster last year, while adding 10 first-years to the team. … Continue reading Men’s Tennis: Fountain of youth
