Grace LaTourelle-
Following worsening conditions at the local St. Peter turkey farm over the past several weeks, on Thursday, Nov 21st, 2024, there was a mass turkey escape. The Gustavian Weekly has been privileged to receive the first scoop and an inside look at this breakout.
“They abruptly cut our feed, blocked out the sunlight from the windows, and took away our heaters… we had to go cold turkey,” the informal leader of the escape, Turkey Tomlinson, explained. “So many of us began to feel under the feather…weather.”
Tomlinson explained that the idea for the escape came from the stories of snails, who were being shipped by the postal service to become escargot, banding together to lift the top off shipping containers in order to make their slow escape.
“We were all worried about our largely flightless characteristics, but if the snails could do it, so could we,” Tomlinson said.
Tomlinson gathered his rafter, or flock if one prefers, on Wednesday night to judge how everyone was feeling. From the discussion, Tomlinson synthesized that a breakout might be plausible.
“It might have been hasty, but I recognized that we needed a strong plan. We couldn’t just wing it,” Tomlinson said.
The main concern was the chicken wire outlining the farm. At 4 a.m. on Thursday morning, the turkeys lined up single file. Climbing on the backs of others, they made a turkey ladder of sorts, allowing for the more feeble amongst them to climb up and over the fence. Finally, Tomlinson and his brother Turkey Tettegouche were left at the bottom of the ladder.
“We were prepared to stay behind. My grandmother, Matriarch Turkey Teresa was rolling over in her grave-y,” Tomlinson laughed.
Tomlinson described that it was then 5 a.m. and the first glimmer of sunlight could be seen on the horizon.
“Tettegouche, he said to me, ‘Wild turkeys can fly, brother.’ And I looked at him incredulously, as we’re obviously domestic. But he had a wild look in his eye and I knew what he meant to do,” Tomlinson said.
The turkey brothers were able to escape by flying over the fence, highlighted by the rising sun. From there, the rafters then began to make their way through the neighboring corn fields. It was only once they were a considerable distance from the farm that they allowed themselves to feast.
Following this news, Gustavus students, as well as the St. Peter community, have expressed their concerns for how Thanksgiving will be impacted. Already, the tofurkeys –faux-turkeys made of tofu– have been flying off the shelves at the St. Peter Co-op. The local Thanksgiving Day 5k has thus been renamed the “Tofurkey Trot.”
“Maybe we should consider why Thanksgiving depends so much on the turkeys,” Tomlinson suggested. “Rather, I believe Thanksgiving could re-emphasize family and chosen family, gratefulness, and a recognition of ways in which we can give back to the world we find ourselves in so that thankfulness can spread.”
Gusties are encouraged by the rafter to get more involved with the turkey community. ResLife is partnering with the rafter to allow turkeys in the dorms to rest, use the bathroom, and recreate with the pool table. There will also be a new May term course opportunity being developed this spring, co-lead with Gustavus faculty and Tomlinson, IDS200: Too Stuffed: Veganism and Turkeys.
Farmer Carne Ivore declined to comment for this article, besides a passing remark of “Gobble Gobble? More like squabble, squabble!”
“I encourage Gusties to remember, as Thanksgiving break comes up and the campus disperses to their various locations, that you are a rafter,” Tomlinson said. “Your rafter can do amazing things if you build it up. Your rafter, your community, is an avenue for positive change, for light in dark times, for flight.”