To the Editors of the Gustavian Weekly,
Are you doing okay? Every Wednesday I go to study in Uhler basement, and I see you guys through the window looking really stressed out. When I go back to my room at like 10, you’re still there! It’s seriously concerning, especially since I never see you guys move. Every time I go down to the basement everyone is still in the same position…Do you need help? Also, I’m not going to lie – nobody I know reads the Weekly. It looks kind of janky, and although we appreciate the effort you put in (which seems like a lot, apparently), it doesn’t seem like it’s worth this much stress. Your one drawing prof who’s been here for decades, and you guys always look mad at them– especially as the night goes on. Do you guys need a hug? On the one occasion I did read an edition of the Weekly, I was actually pleasantly surprised. I can tell that you guys genuinely care about what you do and put in the effort to make the best paper that you can under your conditions. If no one has ever told you, I appreciate you.
If I happen to make eye contact with one of you, I feel like I’m looking at a goldfish in a sad little bowl. Swimming in circles. Your eyes tell me everything I need to know– you DO need help.
Sincerely,
Concerned Gustie

Stay tuned for editor’s response next week!