Winter Break closing guidelines for dummies

Emily Seppelt – Staff Writer

The semester is drawing to a close and you all know what that means: we’re getting kicked out. To avoid the $50 fee that will sit on your student account for months and months, here’s what to do before your risk your life driving home in the snow.

  • Make sure you skedaddle by 9 AM on Tuesday, December 21.
  • Take out all your trash and recycling to avoid coming back to moldy Caf food rotting in your room.
  • Close and lock all your windows to prevent burglars from climbing in and stealing all the stuff you were too lazy to bring home.
  • Leave your heat on two or 65 degrees, or else the pipes will freeze and burst your entire dorm will come after you for flooding their rooms.
  • Keep stuff away from the vents too to make sure nothing lights on fire.
  • Clean your room for some reason? I guess the CFs don’t see the pile of clothes your keep on your desk chair.
  • Unplug all your stuff, including your mini-fridge and microwave.
  • If you live on the first floor, close your blinds, so all the people who wander onto campus only in January can’t peek in. Leave your blinds open if you live on the second floor or above.
  • Turn off all your lights, or you are personally responsible for climate change.

Once you complete all these steps, sign that cute little slip of paper on your door and attempt to be a human again for the holidays! The Weekly will be here waiting for you in February!

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