The dating world is a vast and complex game of courtship and flirtation. Some are in it for a night or two, while others play for the ring. Whatever place you occupy in the strenuous, tedious, and occasionally rewarding system, one thing is certain: this dating stuff is just stressful.

Phase one is all about expressing interest. Unfortunately, even the bravest Gustie lion heart can become a stuttering nervous wreck when facing their crush.

It’s comforting to have safe arenas like Gustavus Love Confessions and the face of your algebra desk to anonymously carve out your feelings. But a prince can’t exactly rescue his princess from a life of collecting cats and searching Christian Mingle if he doesn’t know she exists.

However, there’s an overwhelming problem with women believing that men somehow sense when they’re interested. I don’t know if it’s supposed to be telepathy or a subtle system of pheromones and eyelash waving, but frankly, it just doesn’t work.

I fear for all the lonely women shedding mascara stained tears and eating Ben & Jerry’s over a boy who was genuinely oblivious. There’s nothing wrong with putting on some big girl pants and being a little blatant with the flirtation. All in good taste, of course.

That being said, some men out there need to tune in a wee bit. If her text reads “Heyyyyyy,” with twelve emoticons, chances are she thinks you’re neat. If she goes out of her way to find you on the treacherous floor of the Dive, the odds are in your favor.

If she enjoys sitting down for a Lord of the Rings marathon and doesn’t say things like “I’m so Team Jacob,” you should probably keep her around. If she’s expressed how beautiful your children will be and sends you photoshopped images of the two of you in wedding attire, you should run, bro.

Step two is all about initiation. Even in the post-feminist era we live in, women still play a passive role in the whole “asking out” step of dating. Unfortunately, common dating advice sites, like Ask Men and Patti Knows, generally recommend that men ought to make the first move. But waiting for him to make the first official move can mean a long, long wait. Men are, in fact, capable of being nervous and it can take anywhere from one to a bajillion days for him to grow the cajones to make a move. In the end, it’s not really going to matter who asked who. If it works, it works.

Communication is vital during this point. You don’t need to present them with a thesis of your intentions, nor do you need to have a full-fledged plan, but a little clarity never hurts. A “wanna go to my dorm?” after the Dive does not count as a first date. Vague texts about maybe hanging out somewhere, sometime, aren’t going to make anyone’s heart flutter. Personally, I think it’s great when someone can jump in with a spontaneous, “Let me take you out to this place I like.”

Once it’s obvious that both parties are basking in the “like  -like” stage, it’s all about being yourself. Forget all the bragging you heard from the guys in the locker room who are supposedly slaying it. Ignore the less-than-healthy advice from Cosmo Magazine. There’s no need to give yourself ulcers over every little detail as you start to get to know another human being and explore your romantic potential. Pretending to be someone you’re not is a waste of everyone’s time. Be honest and, as my mother always said, “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. If it doesn’t, that’s all right.”

According to College Prowler, Gustie guys and girls both earned A’s in attractiveness. So even if nothing happens, you can at least watch from a distance — a sad, tear-soaked distance.