The Odd Life of Timothy Green is a film that seems to promise it will offer entertainment and suspense, though as the plot continued I continued to ask myself, “When is it going to get good?”

It’s visually pleasing. There are a lot of colorful scenes and a young boy that is cute enough to carry the show on his smiles, but the plot is both predicting and awfully slow.

Jim and Cindy Green (Jennifer Garner, Juno; Joel Edgerton, Warrior) are trying to have a baby, but due to some unexplained complication Cindy is unable to bear children. Depression in the house of the Greens ensues, and it seems nothing will help Cindy move on. That is until her husband creates a silly game involving the writing of characteristics their child would have onto slips of paper (e.g. “As funny as Uncle Bub” or “He’ll rock”).

Once the excitement of the game fades away, Cindy and Jim put the slips of paper into a box and bury it in the garden.

I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking it, too. After a mystical rainstorm that night, the characteristics that were planted in the garden sprout a boy. Their child.

And he has leaves on his leg. Fitting.

The story is all a flashback, I might add. The opening scene is Jim and Cindy at an adoption agency; they apparently thought themselves exempt from correctly filling out the required forms. In lieu of this, they tell their story to the quite bitter adoption lady, who is not so amused.

It’s a cute tale, sure. And like I said, that boy is holding his own as the cute child. But the whole story is one we’ve all seen before. The child turns the tables, teaching all the foolish, ignorant adults a lesson with his wisdom beyond his years. But he can’t stay. Oh, certainly not. Once all the lessons are taught, and the once overprotective parents learn just how to parent their child, the child must leave.

If it’s a no-brainer, no-laugher, all around average movie you want this weekend to ease the load of work you have, then by all means I suggest the viewing of this film. On the other hand, there is a RedBox located somewhere in St. Peter, I’m sure. And I know Netflix has a lot more to offer than our pal Timothy Green. I relinquish myself of two and a half stars out of five.