Gee, my pens just aren’t feminine enough

Said no one ever.

So Bic. They make pens and razors and other things.

I’m going to introduce a possible life-changer. Right here. In text.

Bic’s Cristal For Her: The Cristal reserved for women! is now in a Target or Wal-Mart store near you.

This entirely new line of pens by Bic just adds “for her” to the end of their existing product and—WHAM—it’s now available to be used by women. I actually didn’t get too offended at this (not like when Dr. Pepper released Dr. Pepper 10: Not for Women in 2011). Bic’s product actually made me chuckle. I had never seen anything like it. They explain this product in the description as a thinner pen for women’s fingers. It makes it easier to handle. I wasn’t aware that my fingers couldn’t handle “normal” and already existing pens. I’ve just been using man pens until now.

“Every pen is a man pen. You’ve been using man pens for years,” Junior Becca Eastwood informed me while I was complaining about Bic’s new product.

I obviously missed the memo. Apparently I have been suffering in a male-dominated society for twenty years and Bic finally pulled me out of my testosterone-filled pit of despair.

The thing that stuck out to me the most about this revelation in pen production is that Bic thought it needed to be made. Maybe the company thought they were doing women a service by making a thinner, easier to handle model pen for our delicate, innocent fingers, and that we’ve been suffering endless amounts of torture by struggling to grab ahold of the manly pens that every store sells.

Every time I try to describe these pens, it comes out sarcastic. It also just sounds sexist.

Which means it probably is.

Bic also has just the regular Cristal, in which the pen point is 1mm (while Cristal For Her is a mere .7), though there aren’t nearly as many color options because we’ve got to have our choices.

With these new pens, we’re not only expected to have less capability to hold onto pens, but to write thinner.

The pens aimed towards women also cost about 70% more than the regular, non-gendered pens. Yes, because we need to pay more. It’s not like we already spend enough on bras, tampons, fancy and sweet-smelling razors (which are just the same as men’s razors) and other feminine products.

And we’re not paying for anything special—just for the recognition that we are, in fact women.

We live in a society where gender binaries slap you in the face every time you step outside. It’s bad enough that every fiber of our physical being is rated based on our sex, but to concern our writing utensils? That’s too far.

So, Bic, next time you come up with a great idea to “improve” our lives, talk to a woman and get her opinion.