Let it go!

If someone so much as whispers the word ‘tornado,’ the image of a horse so dead and beaten it qualifies as chili comes to mind. I’ve been driven to my knees listening to the pissing and moaning of peer after peer saying the exact same thing: our new statue looks like a tornado.

For some reason, everyone on campus is only able to think of one thing when they see the new Sesquicentennial statue. Without a hint of imagination, a boo-hoo statement is loosed and forgotten about. When someone said it will look like an ice-cream cone when it snows, I almost joypuked from the surge of faith in humanity.

This isn’t the first insurrection among students over our college’s plans. Scrutiny over billboards, commercials, iPad apps and our slogan (which I’ll admit is not worth much if it has to be explained) all draw students’ ire. It cheapens an image of Gustavus we all believed in once. However, there’s a very special reason why we students should just bite the bullet and admit that these executive decisions are going to continue for another 150 years.

Because it doesn’t matter. No matter how much we pound our fists on the ground, scream at the sky, or poison our livers in spite, whatever is done to curse the name of our decision makers will always be in vain. The higher-ups know what they’re doing, and when we say we disagree, it won’t be heard. Their job is to engineer a good looking college that gets asses in classes, and every student has to admit that they themselves were once drawn in by the idea of the Gustavus they put together. And so the suits keep doing what they do regardless of the fuss we put up, seeing as we are a walking “Mission Accomplished” sign.

It hurts that many of the decisions of the higher-ups are made for everyone but students, but at the same time they’re aware that we’re not going to pack up and leave because there’s a giant corkscrew, wedding cake, box fort, Seuss Pyramid (c’mon, this is easy) sitting in our lawn. I won’t; I’ve already passed Organic II!

This is probably what players under coach Belichick or campaigners under Karl Rove feel like. They’re undoubtedly aware of the cloud of evil that shrouds their superior, but they also can’t argue with results. The Patriots win games, George Bush got his presidencies, and Gustavus is a great college.

For what looks like a tacky, shameless showing of neglect to the past translates to a record student class size, good marks on college ranks charts and an active group of alumni. The system is dirty, but man, can our collegiate powers play it right! I have to admit to myself, I could be at a much worse place than Gustavus. There are colleges that can’t focus on invested capital-like artwork. Saint Olaf doesn’t have Wifi.

Countless Gustie graduates return to the school that meant so much to them with their sons and daughters to hope that it will one day be their home, too. It’s incredible listening to their tales of the football field right next to the library, or how Uhler rooms used to be unreasonably large. (If only…)

Surprisingly enough, one thing they don’t say is how much Sesquicentennial plaza looks like a tornado. Their children aren’t crying because we have a billboard north of town or cringing at the idea of a college’s iPad app when looking for more information on our wonderful student organizations.

And they’re certainly not shaking their heads at our newest statue addition when touring our beloved campus. They’re being inspired by what Gustavus has to offer. If we’re not careful, we may forget why we came in the first place.

So stop yelling at the stone. You’re going to be late to class.