…destroys itself

Life as a spy is the easiest possible life, because everywhere you turn there’s a computer with an eye scanner waiting to save your life or tell you what to do.

At every inconvenience you have the perfect spy gadget to accommodate the situation with everything from frog hands (for walking up buildings, of course) to strong magnet suits (for hovering via negative magnetic forces, no doubt). Not to mention the fact that you’re Tom Cruise, you’re a hundred years old and have ugly, greasy, long hair.

In Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Special Agent Ethan Hunt is at it again. After being sprung from a Russian prison by his good pal Benji (Simon Pegg) and Jane (Paula Patton) they embark on the most important mission of all: a terrorist named Hendricks has stolen codes for some nuclear bombs that he wants to destroy the world with.

It may feel like you’re back in the Cold War era, but then you see the preposterous amount of spiPhones and spiPads and you remember the year is indeed 2011. Regardless, there are some nuclear terrorists that need catching and the only way to get them is through eight-minute explosion/fight/falling/shooting/running scenes with loud intense music that just makes you want to get your next mission and run around your backyard with a nerf gun.

The plot of this film is actually a bit hard to keep track of—on account of the aforementioned action scenes. One minute Tom Cruise is nearly dead and the next he’s jumping out of a speeding car and running away from the scene to a dramatic encounter with his spy-team over something that is somehow linked to the task at hand.

I’m a bit disconcerted with the quality of the movies being shown of late here in the Wallenberg Theatre. I guess Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol is a far cry from New Years Eve, thank God, but it’s still less enjoyable than a run in the park or making swords out of Legos. I award one star out of five for Tom Cruise’s good health.