In honor of the Overheard at Gustavus and Gustavus Memes Facebook groups to the Gustavus student community, here are some quotes that have never, and will never be overheard while walking around campus. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you fifty quotes never to be spoken amongst these sacred halls.

1. I hate Jen Fox.

2. Alisa Rosenthal has to be the easiest prof at GAC.

3. I don’t know man, Ben Batz just really gets on my nerves.

4. I wish there were more hipsters on campus.

5. I hope the next class of first-years is even bigger than this one.

6. I miss Phil Cleary.

7. I got undercharged in the caf.

8. Why are there so many Philosophy majors?

9. I think it’s really inappropriate that some people call the Business Department the Department of Avarice.

10. Dear God, I wish Doug Huff would retire already!

11. DDM doesn’t know a thing about literature.

12. James Freetly is the most hideous man in all the land.

13. Student Senate accomplished everything they set out to do this year.

14. The freshmen look really old this year.

15. I’m going to miss hearing the Gustie rouser when I graduate.

16. I just memorized the alma mater song.

17. Which one is Blackbeard?

18. I got a really good deal on my textbook buybacks!

19. I’ve got plenty of printer money.

20. Praise the Lord, there were more people in chapel than in the caf today!

21. Where did all the white people go?

22. We need more blonde people on campus.

23. What are all those White people doing in the D-Center?

24. The football team just won.

25. Where did all the bros go?

26. I totally feel like the same person I was before studying abroad.

27. It’s okay, you can have the last Bosco stick.

28. I’m so excited to dress up for Gustie Friday tomorrow!

29. I didn’t see anyone at Patty’s last Friday night.

30. It isn’t awkward at all when you see your professors at Patty’s.

31. The Mexican food in the Caf is way better than El Agave.

32. Do you ever notice how humble Packer fans are on campus?

33. Viking fans on campus always hold their heads up after a loss.

34. Complex is actually quite a lovely place to live.

35. We have way too many parking spaces on campus.

36. I went to a sweet party at St. Olaf this weekend.

37. Gustavus is good, except the professors suck.

38. I showed up late to LineUs and still got a seat.

39. The house party scene at Gustavus is really hopping.

40. I love how respectful the bros are to first-year women at the Dive.

41. I should have joined CII.

42. What are those kids doing walking into the Arb at night?

43. I just met the love of my life at the Dive.

44. The art building is hard to climb onto.

45. Can I kiss you?

46. We need a waterslide.

47. I’m so happy that all my friends who go to public schools know what a J-Term is.

48. I really wanted Switchfoot to come to campus.

49. Oh sweet! It’s the St. Lucia girls waking me up at 5:30 in the morning!

50. Drew Ajer is not sexy.