OMG u guys i am so drunk rite now. i can barely type this. im almost as drunk as i was last friday nite.

last friday nite the vagina monologues opened. haha thats so funny—the vaginas opened! but the only monologue my vagina had was with some guys crotch at the dive. it was so great. so heres what happened:

i was wearing  my new skinny jeans. my ass looked so hot in them. they kept falling off tho and i culd barely keep them on. haha thats the way it shuld be! and i also wore that pink tank top that shows off my boobs to. that way around midnite one culd accidentally pop out on the dance floor while i am dancing to Ke$ha. i love Ke$ha. shes my idol. she so fun and wild and only looks like she has like 5 stds. that’s my goal too.

so yeah i got dressed and then went and drank some keystones in the room next door. nicki and brittni and lexi and annie and maggie and blake and tony and robbie and andy were all there. omg it was so much fun. tony dared lexi to drink like 3 shots of uv blue in a row and then maggie dared robbie to take tequila shots from her belly button. i dont like the taste of alcohol so i stuck with my keystones cuz they taste like water so they go down easier. haha i totally go down easy too! maybe thats why there my favorite drink?! haha lolz

pretty soon tho brittni threw up in the bathroom and so we had to clean her up. we did the smart thing had her brush her teeth with some Jack (like Ke$ha does!) so she wuld keep alcohol in her system. it was only like 11 and we still had so much more fun to have!

we went to the dive around 11:30 after nicki made out with blake on the futon and we took funny pics of them to put up on facebook. so embarrassing! us girls went strait to the dance floor when we got there. we pushed our way to the center and elbowed a short girl in the face who just wanted to dance with her friends, but omg it was totally worth it. all eyes were on us. we rubbed our bodies on each other and pretended we were lesbians because guys totally think thats hot and we want them to notice us.

then maggie had to go to the bathroom so her and me pushed though the crowd again and probs stepped on the short girls feet but we made it out. maggie was so drunk she culdnt even shut the stall door so she just went with the door open and it was so funny cuz some other girls came in and were like omg what the hell are you doing and we were just like haha!

when we got back we started dancing again and this one boy started rubbing his crotch on my butt. finally the attention i deserve! he said his name was robert but people called him bro so i called him bro. actually we didnt talk much. we went over to a wall where he just stood there with his eyes closed and i was finally able to rub my ass in his crotch all i wanted to. we danced like that the rest of the night. it was so romantic.

he was different. the way he didnt even try to feel me up but just stood there as i did my thing really showed he respected me. and we all know the strongest and most healthiest relationships start at the dive. that’s where carli met tod and theyve been going out for 3 months and tods only cheated on her twice. i wish i could find a guy as nice as tod. i totally want there relationship.

so yeah thats what happened last friday. crazy rite?! its so great that us girls can go out and have a fun time and guys will still respect us. so go to the dive sumtime and see just how far us ladies have come!