Captain’s Log, Star Date Tuesday, Nov. 25; 2:00 p.m.: As my last class concludes, I begin the great migration from St. Peter, Minnesota, to Elmhurst, Illinois, a lonely outpost of the greater Chicago land Star System. The occasion: the Festival of Giving Thanks. The distance: seven hours by automobile (although if a parental unit is driving, local speed limits will be observed and increase the … Continue reading The Ride Home
With the electoral victory of Barack Hussein Obama, there are some vital announcements we need to make. It is projected that since racism no longer exists, civil rights activist Jessie Jackson will divert all his energies into trying to recover the recently extinct river dolphins in China. Also, before the election, you may have noticed that this column was written by a Caucasian and an … Continue reading Racism – I’m over it.
Remember when you would get nervous before an important test or a big game, and your parents would say, “Just do your best, honey, and everything will be OK”? Either you took them seriously and calmed yourself a bit, or you sneered at them and thought, “They don’t realize how important this is to me.” Personally, I thought it was soothing to hear my parents … Continue reading Unhealthy competition
Out of sight, out of mind, right? If we clean up the hateful words that give us chills, we can forget about this one incident, pile it up with the rest and hope it does not topple over. Our campus was left scarred even after the paint on the victims’ cars was cleared. In lieu of the horrifying hate crimes committed Nov. 1 on our … Continue reading Taking a stand against hate
Another long and contentious election has played out in America, and fortunately it went pretty smoothly. Issues at the polls were few and far between, and the result was clear-cut and decisive. Voter registration saw tremendous gains, and more Americans than ever came together to exercise their right to vote. There is much that both sides of the aisle can jointly celebrate in this election. … Continue reading Congratulations, Mr. Obama
It seems the more I write these columns, the less they deal with specific issues, and the more they focus on the overarching problems we face as humans interacting with each other in society. I blame the philosophy department for this, but I hope they understand that this sort of blame only says good things about them. Before I go further, I should warn anyone … Continue reading Believing doesn’t make it so
The election is finally over, but the relief comes with a fair amount of pain for Republican voters who, like me, were hoping for an election night miracle. One by one, many of the politicians I’ve spent weeks and months campaigning for fell by the wayside. There were glimmers of hope — Senate kept its filibuster-proof 60 vote majority and some House Republican candidates achieved … Continue reading Hug a Republican
Life is hard. It is an endless search for meaning, but that meaning is difficult to find. We often pose many anxiety-inducing questions: What should we do in a failing economy? Why can’t I find a job? Why am I busting my butt to get decent grades? Why have hundreds of thousands been killed in Darfur? Why did cancer take my friend’s mom? What am … Continue reading Find your religion
Note: The following is a satire. The intent is to lampoon conservative fears of an Obama victory. Please do not take this seriously. It is has been three years since Barack Obama was elected, and his 2012 reelection campaign has prompted many to look back upon the last three years to explore the changes that have taken place. Indeed, the changes have been vast, causing … Continue reading If Obama wins: A satire
Do you own a laptop computer? Mobile phone? Sony Playstation? Instead of asking, “What is the meaning of life?” or “Why is the sky blue?” perhaps you should ask, “How many people died in order to manufacture my cell phone?” The phrase “blood diamond” is not a new concept. Americans hear about the horrible mining industry through the television, other news sources and even through … Continue reading Blood cell phones
