The left hates him, moderates don’t like him and the right is disappointed in him: former President George W. Bush spent the past eight years doing the toughest job on Earth, but I have a sneaking suspicion his mailbox isn’t stuffed full of “Thank You” cards. If I were him, leaving the White House as celebrities, politicians and millions of citizens from around the country … Continue reading Thank you, Mr. President.
Dear Reader: You are about to read a highly classified document. It is the most singularly elusive compilation of legal papers seen by man since those found in Burn After Reading. This is the Holy Grail of the GOP, dear reader. Do not leave it carelessly lying about for every cabana boy, Drag Queen or female stand up comedienne to pick up and peruse; they … Continue reading The Gay Agenda
In this modern era, with a recession firmly beating down our country’s morale, it is no surprise that people across the nation are turning to the things that comfort them. For some people this means turning to friends and family, and for others it’s community. Still others turn to their churches and other escapes for an infusion of hope. Because of this, I think it … Continue reading Chipotday
The losses that the Republican Party suffered in 2006 and 2008 were devastating. They left many Republicans thinking about what went wrong and commentators proclaiming that the “era of conservatism” was over. The 2008 Republican Primary election saw the party divided among the Paulites, Huckabeens and McCainanites. Underneath all of this was, and is, the sense that the party has become beholden to the religious … Continue reading What’s Next for the Republican Party
Yes, we’ve made it to 2009. All in all, 2008 was kind of a letdown, with economic recessions, astronomical gas prices, Russian invasions and the continuing fame of Miley Cyrus. On the brighter side, the election season finally ended, and Britney Spears actually got her act together. One can only hope that this coming year will bring more celebrity rehabilitations as well as an end … Continue reading Inaugural ambitions
A couple weeks ago, the iPod that my girlfriend and I shared was brutally murdered by a careless Nalgene bottle, with the help of gravity and the enclosed space that is my girlfriend’s purse. I was not there when the act occurred, but the news hit me rather hard. It was a frantic conversation: I demanded to have the who, the why, the what, the … Continue reading iPeople
Dear Materialism, I am on to you, dude. We are getting close to Christmas time, and I am aware of your plans. I refuse to let you tell people, “If you buy a Hummer, everyone will bow down to you,” or, “Nintendo? Get with the times; Playstation 3 is where it’s at!” Stop right now. You have turned this country into a giant money-spending machine. … Continue reading Dear Materialism
As if the pre-purchased packaging of our modern day commodities isn’t enough, during the holidays we somehow feel the need to add another layer to the excess. One more source of grossly consumptive paper waste—tape it on, rip it off, toss it out. I cringe to think of Dec. 26 and the procession of black plastic trash receptacles that will inevitably line the curb. Body … Continue reading “That’s a wrap.”
Just like any Gustavus student, I love watching and sharing YouTube videos with friends and family. You can watch Tina Fey testing out her pageant walk as Sarah Palin, Charlie biting his British older brother’s “fin-gah,” and the evolution of dance, Macarena and all. One day I decided to type the F-word into the search bar. Pull your head out of the gutter. I did … Continue reading The other F-word
Most of us can agree that education is one of the most important services provided by our government and that we all want America’s education system to be the best in the world. That is why in 2004 we spent $536 billion on it, which is $82 billion more than we spent on the war in Iraq and the rest of our military. So why, … Continue reading Struggling schools
