Rudy Giuliani was correct when in his address to the Republican delegates in St. Paul last week he declared that this election is the most important in recent history, and it will be decided by “the people … not the media, not Hollywood celebrities, not anyone else.” He was also correct when he said that Barack Obama got his start in community organizing. He was … Continue reading Try again, Giuliani
As you may be able to guess if you’ve read my previous columns, I’m a vocal person. I generally have no problem voicing my opinions on a wide variety of issues, and I’m usually perfectly willing to have a civil conversation with someone who holds the completely opposite view of what I believe. The majority of such conversations have ended with an “agree to disagree” … Continue reading Disagreeing with homosexuality
Over 4,000 soldiers have died defending our country and the Iraqi people against terrorism and tyranny in Iraq, and regardless of your views on the war, we owe them and their loved ones more than we could ever give in return for their sacrifices. Their names belong on the long list of heroes who have given their lives to protect America and its high ideals, … Continue reading War on the Unborn
With the end of the school year quickly approaching, many Gusties with cafeteria accounts are running low on funds. Perhaps your money was spent on late night cheese bread orders, frost-your-owns used to bribe professors or those amazing hummus, black olive and pineapple sandwiches … wait, just me? That’s embarrassing. Nevertheless, your account is dwindling faster than Lindsay Lohan is re-entering rehab. The solution: become … Continue reading Freedom from consumerism
Jesus Christ, as of today, has officially entered his bid for president of the United States of America. He will be running as the Toga Party candidate where he narrowly defeated Little Caesar and John Belushi in the primary process. Despite Jesus’ age of over 2,000 years, he is expected to bring new life and energy to the already tight race and has promised to … Continue reading Moderate Messiah: a satire
Graceless Gustavus. These two words are rarely, if ever, used together. In fact, we usually characterize Gustavus as being a nice, friendly, welcoming place. A place where students, faculty and staff routinely say hello to each other, even if they don’t have the faintest recollection of who the other individual is. We are in danger of losing this image. It is my belief that we … Continue reading Gustavus’ fall from grace
As a nanny this summer, I brought my magic bag of activities every day with hopes of entertaining and educating Isabelle, age three, and Halle, age five. One day, after Isabelle was finished coloring on the kitchen chairs and Halle had smeared macaroni all over me, I decided I had to be on my toes constantly and have activities ready for their moments of outburst: … Continue reading Dismantling Gender Constructs
My delightful roommate recently called me over to his computer to show me a movie trailer. Expecting to see a trailer for an upcoming action or comedy flick that might interest me, I was intrigued to find a long trailer for the controversial documentary Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. Written and narrated by Ben Stein (yes, the droning teacher from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off), this documentary … Continue reading The de-evolution of science
“So, how was your day, Tara? Oh, uh, I mean, Tasha.” Ok, so both of our names start with the letter T; but you would think that after twenty-one years as his daughter, my father would be able to distinguish me from my brown-haired sister—you know, the girl who popped out roughly two and a half years before I did. In a sarcastic tone I … Continue reading Solving the memory problem
A sci-fi movie set in an apocalyptic future couldn’t have created a better story. In the frigid Arctic region of Norway called Svalbard, scientists are safeguarding humanity from destruction. Into a mountain of solid sandstone they have carved a giant underground vault with walls of steel-reinforced concrete one meter thick, dual blast-proof doors, state-of-the-art security systems and the capacity to house millions. Millions of seeds, … Continue reading Saving the world in Svalbard
