I have heard rumors of a place, my friends. A place after graduation. Where there is always bread on the table and a bun in the oven. I mean a baby in the oven. I mean on the table. I mean a mother in the oven. Wait. I am still a bit confused about the details, but I read it all in this book, you … Continue reading Is there life after graduation?
The LaGuardia Airport was deceptively peaceful last Friday night in New York City. Only moments ago I had skimmed over and plunged into a sea of endless glittering light, the cabin doors opened to a dim, soundless terminal, and I had no idea what I was in for, yet. I was greeted by pair of very loud, very Italian family friends who ushered me to … Continue reading It’s Happening
There is a building adjacent to Confer/Vickner. It is a good sized building: several stories high, two-thousand square feet, by my estimations. It is stone, probably made during the Stone Age. It has an odd attribute of going unnoticed. Yet many of us, like me, have had a class or two there in the past. The building, though, is locked and has sheets of paper … Continue reading Bigfoot is squatting in SSC
Here’s a typical conversation for any type of science major: “So what are you majoring in?” They answer something along the lines of biology, chemistry pre-med, etc. “Awesome! You must be so smart. You are going to make so much money someday!” Here’s a typical conversation for me: “So what are you majoring in?” they ask. “English,” I say. Long pause. “Huh. What are you … Continue reading The bonfire of the humanities
There was a time when rap music really meant rhythm and poetry. In the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, the group Public Enemy was dominating hip-hop in the United States and was one of the first groups of its genre to enjoy success internationally. This was not because of digital, synthesized remixes, but because of their revolutionary sound and their honest and insightful social commentary. … Continue reading Souljaboy tellin’ ‘em all the wrong things
I just checked my midterm grades. Five or six little letters: Ss and Ps, As and Cs. All sorts of weird little symbols on WebAdvisor to take your academic pulse. Let’s be real, do these letters tell us anything? How many times has a prof said, “Oh, you’re all getting As for your midterm grades because there hasn’t been enough material to truly reflect your work…” … Continue reading Learning to love mediocrity
Hi. I’m Jenna, and … I’m an out-of-state Gustie. This is the part where you make me feel better by greeting me en-masse with a sympathetic “Hi, Jenna.” Come on, I know there’s only like 400 of you, but really. Courtesy, people. Thank you. Now. I’m an out-of-state Gustie. I’m not here to vent about how impossible it is to pronounce town names up here … Continue reading Family matters
He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. —Benjamin Franklin Mid-terms have come and gone. Shocking as it may seem, we are now halfway through the semester. For most of us, there is now a regular pattern for the week of class, work, homework and organizational meetings. The ritual is now comfortable and familiar. It’s a pattern that will … Continue reading …fed up with your excuses
At the end of this year, Gustavus, led by our fearless leader Roley Poley Ohle, will make a decision on which soda company the school will use for the first time since 1997. While this debate has been constructed by the duality of Pepsi v. Coke, let us not forget that these are not our only two options. Unlike using a vote for a third … Continue reading Minnesoda
The warm, reassuring sense of security is a great feeling. It’s like being hugged by an enormous, friendly, bullet-proof ghost. Thank goodness there’s a task force on campus apparently dedicated to instilling and cultivating this feeling within the student body. I’m talking about Campus Safety, of course. Formerly known as “Safety & Security,” Campus Safety took the opportunity to streamline their name several years ago … Continue reading To serve and disturb
