Sometimes I wonder: if actions speak louder than words, why the hell am I writing? I’ve asked myself this while writing papers for my English major, while writing (or trying to write) poetry, even when writing this column. Despite loving words, I still ask myself what makes my words any better than anyone else’s; what makes my words worthy to read? Who am I to … Continue reading Final suggestions

Anticipation is the worst. All of the planning, the hopes, the doubts, the worries—it’s more than exhausting. College, especially in the spring, is full of anticipation. Students are constantly in the mode of planning—they’re in thick with expectation for courses, for majors, for extracurriculars, for potential jobs. I think there is a misnomer among students and the older adults who no longer remember being 22—the … Continue reading No last words, just an overused ellipsis

As the school year winds down, I find myself suddenly a little sad by the prospect of graduation. We have had so many memories together, class of 2011, through good and bad, and you have been such a good friend to me these past three years. Go now if you must, but please stay in touch, and read this article carefully, because for many of … Continue reading Remembering seniors

In a recent publication of the Chronicle of Higher Education, I was shocked to discover just how little Gustavus faculty make in comparison to other colleges. Not even considering Doctoral and Graduate institutions, merely among the baccalaureate institutions in this country does Gustavus rank around the 40th percentile. A full professor at Gustavus makes $76,400, whereas a full professor at St. Olaf makes $91,100, at … Continue reading We need to pay professors more

Leafing through a library book, she tilts her head toward the window as a bird jovially tweeted the news of the day. If she was only a bit more fluent she could translate better. ‘Till then, the rough translation of the bird’s ode is “Another Monday, another cloudy day, I’ll tell you how the sun sets and leave the story about the sunrise to Ms. … Continue reading Leaf noted

Warning: Both idle and intentional double entendres abound. Absurdity is the foundation of humor, which is probably why we find sex so consistently funny. If you took away the desire and pleasure components of the sexual endeavor, I think we would all have a great deal of trouble not laughing whenever it comes up. I guess you would also have to remove our psychological investment … Continue reading Sex: The unenlightening opinions of a young, straight male

This past weekend I indulged in a juicy burger topped not with flaccid lettuce, ordinary cheese and banal ketchup, but with a delicious combination of peanut butter and barbeque sauce. It was sweet, it was nutty, it was—as you can imagine—quite gooey. The peanut butter brought out the sweetness of the barbeque sauce, and the tanginess of the barbeque sauce perfectly complemented the rich nuttiness … Continue reading Peanut butter and BBQ sauce: Delicious or disgusting?

As I write, I am staring out the third floor library window at the New Academic Building. Now that the exterior is mostly complete, we can see the final shape that years of hard work and millions of dollars have taken. However, as I sit in our library, I am reminded that I need to leave soon because the building closes at 6:00 p.m. on … Continue reading In which our hero prioritizes

Let me begin this little escapade in the defense of smoking by saying I don’t smoke. I don’t like cigarettes and think they’re disgusting. But I am the only one in my immediate family, who doesn’t smoke. I think that it’s a poor decision for individuals to make in general. Smoking itself has proven to have negative effects, and second-hand smoke can be harmful. That … Continue reading Smoking mad