Staff Writer- Bao Vu

Observe the cat. When it’s blissfully sunbathing and you reach out to pet it, if it’s not in the mood, its reaction is unmistakable: a swift tail flick, a low growl, or simply getting up and moving away. This action holds no malice; the cat is simply conveying a message: “Sorry, but now is not the time.”

Meanwhile, our lives—as success-driven students—are often a long series of nods. We nod to invitations for extra projects, nod to overtime shifts, nod while our eyes are heavy with exhaustion. We nod out of fear of missing out, fear of being judged, and the mistaken belief that “yes” is the only answer for an outstanding student. Perhaps it’s time we turned to these silent cats to learn the power of saying “no.”

Cats understand a fundamental rule of survival: energy is finite. They spend up to 16-20 hours a day merely sleeping and resting, not out of laziness, but to ensure every action they take while awake—from stalking prey to playing—is maximally efficient. In contrast, today’s “hustle” culture glorifies busyness to the point of burnout. We pride ourselves on all-nighters in the library, juggling multiple clubs at once, and feel guilty for spending an evening doing… nothing. The consequences are exhaustion, anxiety, and declining academic performance. I’ve written about the importance of rest before in these pages; this time, I won’t revisit that, but want to emphasize something even more dangerous: It’s one thing to be busy with our own work, but sometimes, we end up being busy doing other people’s work, too.

“Hey, can you finish this task for me? I’ve been so busy lately.”

“Can you do this assignment for me? I just don’t have the time.”

And then, each additional nod when our shoulders are already weighed down is like adding another piece of wood to the fire that’s consuming us.

We often justify these nods with the term “being agreeable” (or in Vietnamese, my mother language, it’s called cả nể). But deep down, it’s fear: fear of displeasing others, fear of being seen as incompetent, fear of being left out of the social circle. However, the consequences of this “agreeableness” are what’s truly frightening. Every time you say “yes” to a party you don’t want to attend, you are silently saying “no” to the sleep you need for tomorrow’s exam. Every time you take on a task beyond your capacity, you are saying “no” to the quality of your other important projects. This people-pleasing, in essence, is handing over control of your life to others’ expectations. It turns you into a puppet, mouthing “yes” while your heart and mind scream “no.”

So, how can we learn the cat’s art of graceful refusal? Communication is always key. A simple, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you!” gives you the space to think and make a rational decision, instead of an automatic, unconscious agreement.

Or, be even more direct. Adopt a clear and decisive attitude. Think of a cat swishing its tail and walking away. That’s its unmistakable way of saying “no.” Of course, as humans, we don’t need (and shouldn’t) leave so abruptly. Instead, we use words. A polite yet firm statement is the human equivalent of that tail flick. For example: “Thank you for inviting me for this project, it sounds really interesting! Unfortunately, my schedule this semester is completely full, and I worry I wouldn’t be able to contribute effectively. Best of luck with it!”

After saying this, it’s crucial to hold your ground. Don’t feel guilty or add lengthy explanations that might suggest your decision is negotiable. Clarity is a sign of respect—respect for others’ time, and, most importantly, respect for your own limits. Helping others is a virtue, but helping by sacrificing yourself unconditionally only leads to your own depletion, making you unable to help anyone in the long run.

You see, cats teach us that boundaries are not cold, isolating walls, but carefully guarded doors protecting the sacred space within each of us. In a world constantly calling our name with endless opportunities and responsibilities, the most crucial skill may no longer be knowing how to grasp everything, but having the courage to let go of what isn’t ours. Learn from the cat: know when to signal with a tail flick, and when to walk away gracefully. Direct your precious energy only towards what truly deserves it, for only then can you truly shine.