Opinion Editor- Soph White

Okay. Here me out. Most people, at one point in their lives, often in childhood, could have been labeled “the milk kid” or “the water kid.” There are only those two options and no in-between. You either drank an obscene amount of milk to make your bones big and strong, or you drank water to stay hydrated and generally healthy. I have yet to find a person who was once a “water kid” who said they liked milk, and as a “milk kid,” I struggle with drinking enough water and am now lactose intolerant. It’s a cruel world out there, folks.

In general, there are a few things I have found in common with these different kid-drink types. “The milk kids” are more likely to have less of a filter in conversations with other humans and were likely the funny friend in middle school. “The water kids” take themselves a little more seriously. There is shamelessness that comes with being a “milk kid” and for being ridiculed for drinking 6 glasses of milk a day. No one gets shamed for drinking that much water, and I believe it has run to their heads. “Water kids” tend to struggle with expressing their emotions but are still healthier than most of their peers. They are more likely to be popular and conform to expectations in authority. Like I said—these are GENERAL observations.

I could very easily imagine a “milk kid” knowing quite a bit about Five Nights at Freddy’s lore or having a room full of paintings and band posters. Perhaps the “water kid” knows more about mainstream shows like The Summer I Turned Pretty, which is unfortunate, considering some of them might have been team Jeremiah. The ONLY reason I know of Jeremiah is because of a “water kid.”

So, what is it about being raised drinking milk versus water that creates different character types? I do not personally know a lot about the milk industry, but upon a Google search or two, you can find that milk provides essential nutrients for building strong bones and muscles and can help with heart health. Yet, it also contributes to weight gain, higher cholesterol levels, and could have been the trigger of your breakouts in middle school. What was surprising was that, looking at the results of drinking only water for extended periods of time, there were both positives (which I guessed) and some drawbacks. Obviously, water helps keep you hydrated. It’s also the thing most of your body is made of, so it doesn’t really change a whole lot of your body’s digestive content. It’s a pretty neutral variable. With all that being said, there can be some drawbacks, such as some nutrient deficiencies or electrolyte imbalances. Most people use other kinds of consumable liquids, like milk, to help receive more kinds of nutrients and to provide electrolytes. Apparently, Google thinks it could also be a social drawback. Many social situations occur during times when we are eating and drinking. I mean, it is kind of awkward to be the person who gets water at the coffee shop when all your friends are trying the new drinks on the menu.

Perhaps you do not think you were a “milk kid” or a “water kid” in the past, but you have at least met one or both in your lifetime. Do you think this applies to people you’ve met in your life? Maybe you have suddenly self-diagnosed yourself. It is quite an odd phenomenon that the “milk kid” versus the “water kid” exists even before we have been socialized. Siblings can be one or the other, even if their parents try to push them towards milk or water. We should consider whether the “milk kid” or the “water kid” was part of our personalities, unveiling themselves in the form of liquid before we could even know ourselves.