Don’t ask me my major

Jonas DoerrOpinion Columnist

Hey, what’s your major?” A common question, I’ll grant. One that’s rather easy to ask as well since we’re all in college. But also a TERRIBLE question.
Why? What could be wrong with such an innocent question? No one has ever died from asking someone’s major.
Well, one’s social life might. See, there is a place and time to ask people’s major. An academic advisor planning courses. A potential employer. A mom trying to figure out what the heck her kid is doing with their life. But when getting to know someone, “What’s your major?” is the wrong question.
First of all, the person being asked might be undecided. They might not know what they want to study and that’s completely OK. However, asking them their major puts them in an uncomfortable situation. They now have to justify themselves to try not to sound indecisive when they have done nothing wrong.
If that sounds maybe a little presumptive, it’s not: I went through a whole year of answering *the* question, trying to make jokes instead of saying “undecided” and hoping that I didn’t come across as the hopeless shipwreck of a person lost on the sea of indecision that I now felt I was.
And so I started inventing majors. To one person, I was an entrepreneur who wanted to start a sword fighting academy; to another, I wanted to become the next trust-busting Teddy Roosevelt. When saying I wanted to major in the Data Science of Predicting Major Choices was met by a blank face I realized that the topic was just not that interesting. Which brings me to my next point:
Talking about majors is boring. It’s a conversation-killer! Imagine someone answers, “I study physics.” Physics is very interesting, but not to all people. So what does one of those people say back to the physics major? The conversation can be salvaged, but it just got a lot more awkward. If the asker isn’t curious at all about physics they either have to fake it, stand in silence, change the topic, or say the classic phrase of indifference, “Wow, that’s interesting.” At which point the conversation is about as finished as having two people per table in the caf.
And lastly, asking about majors categorizes people. When someone says they are a computer science major or a music major it is really easy to think, “They’re one of those people” (Although I think those people are great; without them we wouldn’t have Tecmo Super Bowl or the Wii Sports Theme Song). The thing is, a major is a very small part of who someone is. What about their morals, what they love, or what they put on their waffles (Greek yogurt and fruit, if you were wondering)? No one should be categorized by their major choice.
What is there to say instead, then? Well, the best questions for starting a conversation are one that take more than one word to answer. Some examples include what are you excited for? What do you do in your free time? What makes you happy? Would Kanye and Black Widow make a cute couple? What’s your opinion on [insert controversial topic at Gustavus that everyone rants about]?
While it may seem awkward at first to step outside the social norm it will make conversations far more interesting. Plus, no one is going to refuse to answer a decent question, so it’s a low-risk, high-reward situation.
However, there’s one magic tait to help improve any conversation – curiosity. Asking questions by rote is stale and boring, but asking questions with a desire to learn is awesome for the asker and the answerer. It can be infrequent in today’s society that someone is truly listened to even on seemingly trivial topics such as in small talk. This means that showing curiosity towards someone is a gift that makes people feel heard and appreciated, which, by the way, is a great way to make friends. Plus, everyone has something to teach, so asking the right questions can lead to a gold mine of new insights.
Of course, some people would rather not make new friends, have more intriguing conversations, and learn new things. For them, they can keep asking each other their majors. But for everyone else try this stuff out! It just might make a (wait for it)… major difference.