I have every reason to be happy. I’m a senior at Gustavus.  I come from one of the happiest, most functional families in the world. I have a wonderful boyfriend and I live with three of my best friends. I’m the Managing Editor for this paper, a job I worked hard for and I’m proud of. I study what I love. I have passions. I have plans for my future. I spend my days surrounded by people who care about me and support me. I have every reason to be happy.

Sometimes, I’m sad. And that’s okay.

Gustavus has a culture. A Lutheran, Swedish, liberal arts, smiling, successful, beaming-on-brochures, taking-jumping-pictures-in-front-of-the-sign, grinning-all-the-way-culture. It’s life on “The Hill”. The best four years of your life. It’s wonderful, in its way.

Happiness is a business here at Gustavus. Watch the Gustie Guides explain the campus to a stranger. Check out the brochures, or better yet, the photos on the website. You’d think everyone just won the lottery. We’re selling paradise.
Image is important for a college. We have to appear promising to attract promising students. It makes sense, and for the most part, I think it’s great. Gustavus changed my life. I am a better person than I was four years ago, and I have the people of this community to thank. But I didn’t grow because everything here was sunshine and rainbows.

Happiness is a business here at Gustavus.

There is a downside to the idea that college, particularly Gustavus, is a perpetually happy place. It’s not. When students think they’re not living up to this projection of joy and success, they begin to feel alienated. Inadequate. Alone. These are the feelings that lead to depression.

College students are thrown into an environment of stressors. If you can’t adapt fast, you’re likely to stumble.

“Students experience many firsts, including new lifestyles, friends, roommates, exposure to new cultures and alternate ways of thinking,” Hilary Silver, a licensed clinical social worker and mental health expert on the website PsychCentral, said.

Students are overwhelmed with pressure to succeed academically and socially. There is also a great deal of pressure to be involved, to participate, to “make your life count”. Many students, thrown out into the world for the first time, face a crisis of identity.

“When students head off to college, the familiar people are no longer there to reinforce the identity these students have created for themselves,” Silver said.

So you’re straining under pressure to succeed, to be happy, to thrive, and you find yourself wondering who you are and if this is really making you happy. With a shaky sense of identity and a lack of confidence, this is the point where many students turn to drugs and alcohol. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA), 45 percent of college students binge drink. 21 percent abuse drugs of some form. Next stop, diagnosable mental health problems.

The transition to college is sudden and demanding. There are a million things that can go wrong, a thousand reasons to feel inadequate, and hundreds of pressures closing in from every side. You’re going to make mistakes. You’re going to fall on your face. Let’s all admit, high school did not prepare us for this.

There is a slippery slope that leads college students to depression. The key is to create not just an environment of success, but a culture of honesty.

“Hey, how are you?”

You don’t have to say fine. You can be stressed, lonely, frustrated. How about embarrassed? Lost? Uncertain? Maybe even a bit pissed off? Perfect. That’s fine. Literally everyone has been there. When someone you trust asks how you’re doing, you can be honest. Sometimes that’s all it takes to make a difficult situation bearable.

I think I’m being honest when I say I’m happy with my life now. I’m happy with the balance I’ve been able to make between friends and family and work and play. I’m happy about my passions, my accomplishments, my skills, and my future. This is the closest I’ve ever come to identifying with the beaming faces on the Gustavus brochures.

You don’t have to say fine. You can be stressed, lonely, frustrated. How about embarrassed? Lost? Uncertain? Maybe even a bit pissed off? Perfect. That’s fine. Literally everyone has been there.

But it’s taken three years of mistakes to learn about myself and what makes me happy and healthy. And I certainly wouldn’t try to claim I’ve got it all figured out. Life’s about finding balance. It’s important to admit to ourselves and each other that feeling crappy sometimes is just part of the balance.