One thing I love about being a pshychological science major, is analyzing people. I am not a psychologist yet, but there are few things I enjoy more than finding the common ties between groups, subgroups, and individuals on campus and in my life and trying to figure out why things are the way they are.

One thing that I have noticed ties the majority of the Gustavus community together is our love of playing the “I am way more stressed than you” game, or as I like to call it, Competitive Stress.

It usually begins with someone describing their schedule for the day. Then someone nearby chimes in with their schedule for the next couple of days and possibly the entire week.

It isn’t long before a game breaks out; how much homework they have, how many physical ailments they are suffering from, how many external struggles they are dealing with, and how little time they have to deal with all of it.

This game usually ends in one of two ways; (1) one of the opponents gives up because no matter what they say, the other person seems to have something worse to add, or (2) the participants end up laughing at the fact that their lives are booked solid for the foreseeable future in a seemingly endless cycle of commitments and obligations. Laughter seems to be a more bearable reaction than crying in a corner of their dorm under a pile of blankets, pillows, and snacks (a.k.a. vodka).

“One thing that I have noticed ties the majority of the Gustavus Community together is our love of playing the “I am way more stressed than you” game, or as I like to call it, Competitive Stress.”

One day I was playing this game with someone and it ended in me giving up. They just had so much more to complain about than me and I got frustrated that they just couldn’t let me be more stressed and distraught than them.

I realized soon after, that this was a huge red flag! That number of stressors is practically welcoming the development of an anxiety disorder. The worst part about all of this is that there is some unspoken expectation that all Gusties be involved in at least two outside activities so that we have something impressive to say when we introduce ourselves to someone on campus.

In my abnormal psychological science class, we were required to meditate a total of ten hours throughout the semester. I had to schedule it in and complete it as part of my course credit, which to be honest is the only way I would have taken the time to meditate at this point in my life in the first place.

Something I feel that we undervalue as Gustavus students, is the power of personal time. Being able to take a moment for yourself each day is such an incredible thing.

“The worst part about all of this is that there is some unspoken expectation that all Gusties be involved in at least two outside activities so that we have something impressive to say when we introduce ourselves to someone on campus.”

At first the time seemed to be a waste; I could have been practicing my music, studying for my exam, or watching Netflix. As the semester went on, however, I began to discover that taking a chunk out of my day to simply sit in the dark and focus on my breathing was incredibly healing and empowering.

It soon became the best, and most anticipated part of my week. I was sleeping better. I felt like I could handle a lot more stress. Most importantly, I felt more balanced as a person than I had in many years.

I realized that being busy is not what I wanted. I wanted more time to enjoy the little things. I began to make changes. I felt in control of my life again. I found the strength to say no to things. That is a hard word to say, but it is one that I wish Gusties would use more often for their own sake.

College is a time to be an academic, to prepare for your future, and to learn how to care for yourself in every sense. Competitive stress should be a sign to you that it’s time to prioritize some things.

Playing competitive stress is far too common an occurrence on this campus. College is not a time for us to run ourselves into the ground, disregarding our own physical and mental needs.

Maybe you don’t need to be involved in nine clubs, three music ensembles, a varsity athletic, and five classes. Maybe you would feel better just going to class, playing tennis, and performing at an Open B.A.R. here and there.

One last thing; it is never too late to step down. If you have been in a group for two days or two years, if it is something you don’t enjoy doing, don’t do it.

The group will not die when you leave. It will not crumble. It will not spontaneously combust. It will continue on as if nothing has changed. This is a hard thing to accept, but it is truth.

As animals, we are made to adapt to change, and to continue on. Your work and contributions will not go unnoticed, but the lack of your presence will not cause the demise of the group.

I encourage you to reflect on the things you are doing, decide what you need, what you can do without, and to harness control of your schedule and your life. Do things because you want to, not because you feel you have to.

Be strong Gusties. At the end of the day, all you have is you. Try to make sure it is the best version of you you can be.

-Nikki Rom