* The Calendar Page is considered editorial. The opinions expressed herein are not the opinions of The GusTavian Weekly, but the lyrics of Timeflies’ songs. I told you we should have voted Jason Derulo.
Friday, April 25
Gustie Cup Floor Hockey: Lund Center Forum 4 p.m.
I will be in attendance merely for the heated fights. THE CUP IS ON THE LINE.
Weekend Movies: Her & The Lego Movie: Wallenberg Auditorium 7 & 10 p.m.
If you combine these two movies you get a guy who falls in love with his Legos, AKA my childhood.
Mendacity – Rob Ward & Comfort Dolo: The Black Box 8 p.m.
It’s also on Saturday and Sunday. The senior slide is even encroaching on this section.
Saturday, April 26
Weekend Movies: The Lego Movie & Her: Wallenberg Auditorium 5:30 & 8 p.m.
Using Her as the subject in the sentence goes against everything I have been trained to know in grammar classes.
Diversity Awards Banquet: Alumni Hall 6:30 p.m.
Speaking of diversity, let’s change up the appetizers this year, Diversity Leadership Council!
Sunday, April 27
Weekend Movie: Her: Wallenberg Auditorium 2 p.m.
And like that The Lego Movie is gone. YOU’RE RUTHLESS, CAB . . . You’re ruthless.
Monday, April 28
Take Back the Night: Beck 111 5 p.m.
But first, they have to take back“Take Back the Night” from Justin Timberlake.
Tuesday, April 29
Coca Cola Educational Partnership Grant Reception: Heritage Banquet Room 3:30 p.m.
I hope they have some Diet Pepsi there!
Tai Chi in the Arb: The Arb 7 p.m.
Afterwards, the plan is to play kickball with the ball of energy you leave behind.
Wednesday, April 30
MAYDAY!: All Day
I’m really excited for JULYDAY! in September.
Zeta Chi Phi Recruitment Event: (Mean Girls Movie Night) Beck 301 7 p.m.
This might be the first sorority recruitment event to champion “mean girls.”
Thursday, April 1
Gustavus Student Life Conference: All Day
If this is open to everyone, prepare for a salty Q&A about off-campus housing, Charlie Potts.
Phi Beta Kappa Induction Ceremony: St. Peter Room 6 p.m.
TIME TO BEEF UP THEM RESUMES.
Feit-sty Not Really Horoscopes
Aries: I’m all about transperancy at Gustavus. Overhead projectors are treasures.
Taurus: The greatest weapons any of us can wield are Game of Thrones spoilers.
Gemini: I wonder whose Greeter group Rebecca Bergman will be in next year.
Cancer: If nothing’s changed since Orientation, this year’s class will have a ton of medical students next year!
Leo: Good luck to next year’s editor. Try writing jokes without Ohle here.
Virgo: So you’re not supposed to wear anything under the graduation gowns, right?
Libra: Nothing says“I care about this issue” like holding a whiteboard that says so.
Scorpio: Toy Story 4 is going to be really sad when Andy doesn’t get a job out of college.
Sagittarius: To get on Gustavus’s front page, I guess I need to go to med school or be in a cable miniseries. Easy.
Capricorn: More college professors should be like Indiana Jones. It’s a simple request.
Aquarius: I need to drop out before the door to becoming the next Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg shuts on me.
Pisces: I hope Ohle and the Faculty Senate hug it out before he leaves.