As I’m helping park cars during a service event, a fellow parker criticizes a woman on her choice to wear high heels and a relatively short skirt.  He claims that she is the victim of obvious sexual objectification and that she must feel the need to wear that outfit.

Now, I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure that he had never met her before in his life nor did he know anything about her. At this moment, a question struck me: has sexism changed to a warped version of “feminism”?

I’d say that yes, it has.  It’s no longer “slutty” to wear a shirt with a low V-neck; instead it’s a sign of being “oppressed.”

Skinniness is no longer an expectation but a sign of women being coerced by society.  A girl who loves to cook is no longer expected, instead it’s seen as being “domesticated” (as if being able to eat is suddenly a bad thing).

We don’t want the perfect housewife who only cooks and cleans; we now want a women who literally NEVER cooks and cleans, no matter her motivation for doing so.  In that way, we have not changed, we still judge women in a split-second on the basis of outward appearances only now you are not a “slut” or a “whore”, instead you are “oppressed.”

A women who dresses well because it helps her feel good about herself is now undercut by the very people who should be encouraging her autonomy, all for the sake of imposing that person’s values onto another person. A woman who is slender because of her genetic disposition is now looked down upon because she obviously hasn’t accepted that all body types are beautiful.

We cannot judge actions solely on the basis of the action itself but must also take into consideration the reason for why this action was taken. A woman who chooses to act a certain way for positive reasons (she enjoys it on some level), and not because she feels like she must, is something we should be encouraging.

No matter what we can do, we cannot force people to be free. We can educate people on the power relationships that exist within society, but by belittling women and not respecting true autonomy we will get no closer to freedom for anybody.

Female autonomy obviously should be a goal that we, as a group of individuals should strive for. Yet we must also remember that as long as we have this idea that a “free” woman can’t wear certain clothing or do certain activities then are we really advocating for freedom?

Freedom, by its very nature, leads to the possibility of living different lives and thus we should not be assuming that all women who like to cook or dress nicely are oppressed. We need to recognize that just as it is a choice to intentionally break away from popular culture and its values, we still need to maintain a respect for those who do not want to be a part of such a break.  

As long as their motivation is not caused by pressure or coercion from other people them, because of their own humanness, their actions are not the result of oppression. Because of this we should not force nor persuade anyone to act a certain way, instead we should be encouraging empowerment of women and not undercut their potential to be free.

Simply put, wear whatever you want to wear. If someone feels more comfortable wearing the sweatpants and sweatshirt uniform every day, more power to them, but if someone wants to wear heels and dresses, they deserve the same respect for their choice because it truly does cut both ways.