Like many on this campus, I thoroughly enjoy sleeping. whether it’s napping, going to bed early or sleeping late. It seems like a natural right for people our age. Yes, some may have to rouse themselves for 8:00 a.m. class, but their collective suffering is an edifying force among those who drudge themselves out of bed at such an ungodly hour.

Sleeping time should be holy! We should try to preserve this necessity of our development during such a critical point in our lives as adults. As any sleeping dog should be left alone, so should we be left to waste away our days underneath the sheets.

No time is a more appropriate sleeping time than the weekend mornings. Without class or work to attend to, life should be best spent in bed, indulging in one more dream, one more wink of sleep before the stark reality of our weekdays sets in.

So when the football field speakers start blaring Saturday morning, I wonder: why? Oh why, God, must we all suffer this high-decibel torment during the time of the week destined to be relaxing for us? Why make us suffer through “The Eye of the Tiger” yet again?

In all seriousness, why must everyone on campus listen to music too loud to escape from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. every Saturday in the fall? We know the football game doesn’t start until 1:00 p.m., so why must the music start so early?

Perhaps a short story would help elucidate my dilemma. I awoke last Saturday because I had the displeasure of having a window facing the football field and went to Lund Center to see what was happening. Even an hour after our least favorite tunes from the ‘80s, ‘90s and today started playing, the footballers were still in the locker rooms, sulking from my observation. I finished my workout, headed back to my room and the music was still playing so loudly I could hear “Louie Louie” in my shower.

The worst part of it for me is the inescapable nature of the tunes that only demonstrates the lowest form of musical development known to humanity. I take a walk in the Arboretum; I can hear it. I try to read a book on the hill; I can hear it. I try to draw in the Art Building; I can still hear it. I sit on the steps of Old Main trying to enjoy a sunny afternoon, and I can hear perfectly well that the away team scored yet another touchdown.

My observation is this: We all have activities we are involved in on campus; I, for one, play music in the band and orchestra. For all the groups that exist on campus, only one broadcasts their existence so loudly that it is physically impossible to escape it. Sure, thousands of people see theater productions every year, but those thousands choose to be exposed to it.

The subtle but thrilling difference between football games and the rest of campus activities is that regardless of whether or not we’d like to hear popular music played loudly for hours on end, we’re forced to do so without respite every Saturday home game.

I have nothing against any football player on this campus. Actually, I think football games support this campus in many ways, including alumni outreach and other fundraising activities. It’s a game that a lot of people think is entertaining and a valuable use of their time. I see nothing wrong with that.

However, I do see something wrong with being forced to listen to that God-awful music every weekend when all I want to do is sleep in! I don’t need to know who’s fumbling the ball or what number on the opposing team just ran three yards on first down when what I’m trying to do is some homework. It is not only an unwanted guest in my life; it is noise that pollutes hundreds of people’s Saturdays that none of us would electively choose to listen to.

So please, I’m begging you, if you believe that people who pay tens of thousands of dollars to attend this school shouldn’t be forced into listening to crappy music played over loudspeakers for hours on end every time something happens on Hollingsworth Field, stand with me on this one. Please, return peace and quiet to Saturdays.