Political “dialogue,” such as it is, lacks in this country. I’ve asked myself on numerous occasions why this is so. I’ve decided that a key part of the answer to this question is the art of listening.  Most people seem to be incapable of this art.  Oh sure, they sit there and nod their head, but in their mind they are already thinking of what they will say next, regardless of whether or not it responds to something that you are saying.

This incredibly annoying practice seems to be especially prevalent in college. I’ve quit talking politics with a good number of people because they can’t listen. I know, I know: “can’t” seems a little strong. However, after multiple conversations with people such as this, I’m convinced that they are so incredibly self-centered that they are mentally unable to listen to another person’s opinions. The prevalence of this failure to listen extends beyond politics to the field of religion.

The incivility of the dialogue surrounding politics and religion irritates me to no end. I believe people would get along with one another much, much more if they actually listened to one another. I’m not saying that one must agree with someone; however he/she should at least listen to others’ arguments or beliefs.  Without offering the mutual respect of listening to one another, further polarization occurs.

So what does the art of listening have to do with the art of persuasion? They go hand in hand. If I cannot listen to another’s arguments, I cannot hope to persuade him/her that my arguments are right or even possibly right. The reason for this is that if I cannot listen to his/her arguments, how can I expect him/her to listen to my arguments? I can’t. The second you tune someone’s arguments and voice out is the second they tune your arguments out.  Once this happens, persuasion is impossible.

Persuasion is a word people generally take to mean convincing someone that you are right.  Many envision that this takes place after a single conversation.  In general, this does not happen.  Persuasion occurs after months and months of discussion of ideas.  Since coming to Gustavus, I’ve convinced a few people to be a little more conservative and I’m probably a little more liberal than I was before I came to Gustavus.  How did this persuasion occur?

Through conversations and listening to people’s ideas and discussing my own, mutual persuasion and moderation has occurred.

The goal of political and religious discussion should be to understand one another, talk through ideas and possibly come to a middle ground agreement.  Instead, it appears to see who can yell at one another the loudest and prove to be the most self-righteous. People don’t listen to each other. We wonder why polarization occurs, but it should be self-evident when we have trouble listening to each other’s opinions.  Ending the polarization of the country starts with you, me, and the people sitting around us.  We need to actually listen to one another.

Our unwillingness, or inability, to listen to one another is the cause of a lot of the polarization, whether it is religious or political polarization. It is also a serious flaw in our skill set. Listening to ideas that are not what you believe is a vital part of being an adult.

So here is my challenge for you Gustavus: I want you to actually start listening to people, especially the people with whom you do not agree with. Frequently I read columns and letters to the editor in the Weekly which anger me.  It is not the content that angers me. People can think, believe and—to an extent—do whatever they want; what irks me is the tone of the articles. So many articles have a self-righteous tone or a tone of anger and hostility. I’m guilty of this as well, especially when I talk about populism; however, I try to convey an even-keeled approach.

With all this being said, I challenge you to have a political discussion where you mostly listen to someone else’s ideas. Wait for a natural break in conversation or for them to ask for your opinion, rather than just jumping in and giving it when they are taking a breath or thinking through something. When someone is describing their religious beliefs or why he/she believes them, listen and ask questions when appropriate. When someone is talking, ask him/her questions rather than immediately going off on a diatribe about your own beliefs.

If we start doing these little things and actually listen to one another, we will become better people and hopefully a more understanding country.