All great things must come to an end. (Sorry for the cheesy cliché.) For the past two years, I have written columns about a wide range of issues, from abortion to Jesus running for President. Now in my final column, I want to express to those of you who actually read my column what I have learned from writing for The Gustavian Weekly.

Those of you who know me personally know that I have no great wisdom, and those of you who think I’m a right-wing whack-job probably believe I have no small wisdom either, but I offer you a glimpse of this wonderful part of my Gustavus experience and hope that I can inspire you in some small way to contribute to our great community.

The first thing I learned while writing for the Weekly was that I would never be as funny or popular as Maggie Sotos. Damn you, Maggie! I spend hours researching news websites for information on crucial political issues and then write my column about how the United Nations has failed to serve the international community. All this work usually gets me an “Interesting article” or “I’d never thought about that issue before” from one of my friends who feels obligated to read my column. The rest of the day I hear about how Maggie wrote a hilarious column addressed to Killer Whales telling them how much they suck. The usual statement from Bridget Phillips, who I work with in the Gustavus Finance Office, is “Did you read Maggie’s column and calendar today? They were hilarious! I haven’t gotten a chance to read your column yet, but I’m sure it was good, too.”

I now totally understand what Jan Brady was going through: Maggie, Maggie, Maggie! The lesson we can all take from this is that we must be content with who we are and try not to be envious of those with more flashy abilities. That’s what my therapist tells me, anyway.

The thing I was most afraid of when I first started writing for The Gustavian Weekly was that fellow students and professors with liberal political views would not like me anymore. The great thing is that if anything, they actually seem to like me more! I thought I would be seen as nothing more than the figurehead for crazy white conservative Christian males on campus, but then I realized there is only one Phil Cleary. Ouch! (I’m his friend, so I can say that.)

It is true that most professors and students on campus are liberal Democrats, but it has been my experience that most of them are open to differing opinions and political debate. That is awesome.

Gustavus will continue to be an outstanding institution as long as open discussion is encouraged about controversial issues on campus and around the world. In my mind, the most important thing is that people are actively pursuing their passions, and whether or not those passions are in line with my beliefs is only of secondary importance.

The final lesson I have learned from my Weekly experience is that everyone does not love Ronald Reagan. Several different people have felt that because of the title of my column they are obligated to come up to me and tell me how much they are not fans of his presidency. For some odd reason, these people have also all been severely intoxicated, but I will explain my column’s title anyway.

My reasoning for the name “Everybody Loves Reagan” had more to do with my love for the TV show Everybody Loves Raymond than for the Republican president who left office when I was 2 years old, but I do think he was probably the best president since Abraham Lincoln. You might not like my title or President Reagan, but I challenge you to find a better combination of a ‘90s sitcom and a Republican president. (Maggie, you don’t get to participate in this challenge because your answers would probably be funnier and ruin my point.)

All kidding aside, I have loved my time at Gustavus, and I encourage all of you who are not graduating to take it upon yourselves to become more actively involved in the Gustavus community next year. Whether it’s writing for the Weekly, becoming a student senator or giving all the trees on campus a hug, you will never regret giving more of yourself to this college.

I only wish I could have done more during my short time here, but I’m thankful for the time I’ve had. I hope you all have a great summer, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to write for your student newspaper.