About a week ago, as part of an advertisement for The Vagina Monologues, I noticed the Womyn’s Awareness Center was selling T-shirts that read “This is what a Gustavus feminist looks like.” I considered buying one to support my Gustie sisters, but I began to ponder: how much of a feminist am I?

Like any learned (read: woman-fearing) man, I fully endorse the women’s rights movement, but do I possess any other qualities that one would classify as feminist? Besides lacking a vagina, I have never burned a bra, nor have I participated in an anti-patriarchy protest. Yes, yes, I know, you don’t have to be angry, militant or a woman to be a feminist, but why are these stereotypes associated with feminism? And why do men like me hesitate to call themselves feminists?

Within the past century, much progress has been made in granting women the same rights and opportunities as men. Following World War II, books like the The Feminine Mystique encouraged women to enter the workforce and to challenge traditional gender roles. Yet, in challenging the status quo, some critics went further than the rest, blaming all of the world’s ills on the male patriarchal establishment. Men were labeled as being stupid, lazy, animalistic and essentially obsolete. With the advent of in vitro fertilization, some feminists celebrated that men were no longer necessary for reproduction. Controversial feminist Andrea Dworkin argued that heterosexuality is synonymous with male oppression, and she is often misquoted as saying that all intercourse is rape. Only a small few voiced this opinion, but a larger percentage agreed that masculinity is outdated, that men really ought to be like women (but with penises).

With this history in mind, it is easy to see why feminism has a polarizing effect on our society. Contrary to previous radical interpretations, most modern feminists describe the movement as a pursuit for equality. Elizabeth Dodson Gray defines feminism as the “recognition of the imbalance of power between men and women, combined with a commitment to correct that imbalance.”

Although I completely agree with the definition, I still feel a tinge of reluctance in calling myself a feminist. I think it’s in the label. To me, the term “feminist” inherently connotes a kind of exclusivity, as if masculinity isn’t allowed into the proverbial club.

Because of this underlying insinuation, I think feminism needs a new name. Something like … the Gender Equality Movement! Then we can shorten it to GEM and use cool catchphrases like “We’re all radiant GEMs!” OK, I’m getting ahead of myself, but I think this new label would be an effective step in addressing and engaging both sexes for the pursuit of gender equality. The truth is, both men and women are indispensable to attain equality, but we need to assume different roles to achieve this common goal.

As men, we need to take responsibility for our actions and fess up to our mistakes. We need to learn how to be compassionate leaders and how to display our masculinity with benevolence. In his famous book Iron John, Robert Bly writes, “Such a man can be in the presence of innocence without moving to have sexual intercourse with it, enjoy his fierceness without acting it out physically.” As men, we need to let women have their freedom—to do with their bodies what they see is necessary, to express themselves as they see fit (even if that means letting vaginas give monologues). Above all else, we need to take these issues of sexuality and gender seriously.

Women have the responsibility to strive for equal dominance with men, both in the workplace and in relationships. This requires being assertive but not arrogant, being humble but not passive. I think there is a tendency for women to take on a reactive role, using roundabout means to address conflicts. Don’t be afraid to be direct when confronting situations and engaging in conversation. The Gender Equality Movement is about opening a dialogue between the sexes so we can challenge and better ourselves.

With these strategies, we can all unite to eliminate the corruption of the past. Some scholars argue that it is only a matter of time before gender inequality disappears. Sociologist Robert Max Johnson explains that “political competition, women’s individual efforts to advance themselves, men’s remoteness from and unwillingness to defend past practices, women’s collective efforts to influence policy, the cultural weight of accumulated past changes and other strands will all continue to push toward greater equality.”  With the help of all you GEMs, equality will soon be a reality.