News Editor- Jenna Anderson
I’ve seen this stupid deer looking into the shower window pop up on my social media over and over recently. “What do you scroll for? What are you looking to find?” it asks. I find it ironic that it’s looking into the bathroom window. It feels that way when I see it deep in a doomscroll, like it’s catching me doing something vulnerable that I’d rather not be perceived doing, but suddenly I am.
It sounds dumb, but this deer has given me a mini existential crisis again and again. It makes me delete the app I’m on, turn my phone on greyscale, or start sleeping with my phone across the room. This time, I want to break my doomscrolling addiction from the inside instead of relying on these temporary fixes, all great ideas that never seem to work long-term. I’ve compiled a list of what I scroll for in hopes of better understanding the reasons behind the habit, and replacing them with something more satisfying. So, what do I scroll for? What am I looking to find?
- I’m looking to find confirmation that I’m doing okay in comparison to everyone else.
Social media is great at creating imaginary problems that it claims it can solve. It’s a space where we can compare ourselves to an infinite number of people in the world who are “just like us.” Doing so at such a rapid pace at such a large scale is something humans are not meant for. It’s addicting, and creates an endless cycle in which we need more and more comparison to confirm that we’re keeping up. The catch? There will always be someone doing better than I am.
- I’m looking to find inspiration for my life and future.
Like most people nearing graduation in this rapidly changing world where it seems all we hear about is the AI apocalypse and unemployment rate, I’m terrified. To some extent, it’s comforting to watch 20-somethings living their best corporate girlie life in Boston, teaching English in Europe, or pursuing a fascinating research topic in graduate school. Although if I scroll far enough I start to feel like I’m wasting away under my fig tree watching the figs rot (I’m currently reading the Bell Jar and couldn’t recommend it enough).
- Ultimately, I’m looking to find a distraction from the hard things that come with being a human.
Awkward silence? Scroll. Procrastinating homework? Scroll. Thirty minutes I don’t know what to do with? Scroll. A thought I wish I hadn’t had? Scroll. Now we’re back to the infinite cycle again, because scrolling as an escape just brings new things to my attention for me to want to escape from. It doesn’t seem that this scary world is getting any less so, meaning piling on the distractions isn’t a sustainable solution.
Realistically, the only place we will find the things we are scrolling to find is within ourselves. And if we don’t, we’re going to let an automated algorithm decide for us. I’ve decided that I’d rather not do that. Here are the ways I intend to actually find what I’m looking for:
Firstly, I can trade my time comparing my life to strangers on social media for actual reflection time. Instead of hoping social media will tell me if I’m doing enough, I can check in with myself. How do I feel about my friendships? Do I like what I wore today? Did that difficult conversation go how I hoped? Do I feel fulfilled in my classes? If not, what can I change? My personal favorite method for reflection is journaling, but I know people who prefer recording voice memos to themselves, meditation, creating art, or prayer.
Secondly, I can take all the time I spend watching other people do things I might want to do in the future, and use it to do things I actually want to do (crazy concept, I know). The more I do new things, the more I’ll discover what I like, dislike, and am passionate about, all things that can’t come from an algorithm.
Instead of using the internet as an escape from difficult feelings or tasks, we have to face them. This is the hardest solution on my list but arguably the most important. I believe that character is developed through crashing out sometimes and finding out how to put ourselves back together again. Finding out how to best care for ourselves and those we love in a scary, uncomfortable existence can be put off with distractions upon distractions, but it can’t be outsourced to a social media algorithm. I think it’s time to start doing that difficult work for ourselves and our communities. In doing so, we might find what we were looking for at the bottom of the endless doomscroll- who we are, what we believe in, and where we fit in the world.
I encourage you to take inspiration from my list, or make one for yourself, so that maybe we can find real replacements to the infinite scroll we’ve found ourselves stuck in. Please know that I’m not trying to take the blame off of the companies who rule our digital world and get more money than I can even fathom to do so. Think of this exercise as an act of resistance against those elites who we are paying too much, with our time, attention, and lives. To develop new ways to convince us that they know who we are better than we do.