Opinion Editor- Soph White

This may be a hot take–although it’s stupid if it is–but I think we should stop basing gender identity on the outward expression that takes place through someone’s physical body/appearance. I say this as a genderqueer individual, who cannot manage to look androgynous even if I tried (and trust, I have). 

I’ve learned many things during my journey through attempted androgyny. For example, I have had to come to terms with the fact that I have incredibly large boobs. I can’t fit into binders, and when I do, I develop a uni-boob, which makes me feel worse than having regular ‘ole boobs. I can’t afford a mastectomy, and I’m not even sure if that’s the right way forward for me either. I’d rather get a breast reduction–that is, if I had the funds as a college student to do so. Therefore, I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I outwardly appear very feminine. 

I know there have to be other AFAB gender non-conforming individuals here who struggle with this same issue. Trust, I get it. 

Puberty hit me like a school bus full of bricks, as a result I get misgendered more frequently than those who can more easily reach androgyny. I don’t even think I was fully aware I was “female” until I went through puberty. I was just in a flow state where I didn’t really care what I wore or even if I showered. The good days… back when I only cared about becoming ace in four-square. The epitome of gender euphoria was getting ace in four-square for me. 

When I started going through puberty, I had this rude awakening (and while it was different for me, I know this happens for many AFAB individuals who do or don’t identify as women), where I had to realize I was becoming a “woman”…aka objectified and sexualized by my male peers. I ended up getting my period before most of the girls in my year, all while going in between wanting a penis and/or wishing my boobs were detachable. 

Potential second hot take, but I think genitals and breasts should be detachable. I want to be a Barbie doll with a flat surface some days, some days I love having big boobs, and then randomly I wish I could have a penis and have the quintessential grey-sweatpants-bulge. My gender dysphoria seems to come more out of the way I’ve been socialized to believe that having a penis somehow equals masculinity and having a vagina and boobs equals femininity. 

Also, alongside this journey, I have come to reject that as well. While I am aware my long hair, boobs and overall figure mark me a certain way to some in society, I remain secure knowing that my gender has nothing to do with my outer appearance, but what occurs internally inside me. I would like it if people could stop assuming, but I know I could also do better at correcting people to what I’d like. It’s unfortunate that I have to think that way, but I doubt we’re going to stop labeling and assuming people’s identities in a place like the United States #tryingtoberealistic. 

This all being said, if you are someone who may not identify yourself as a gender non-conforming individual, please consider asking people in your life their pronouns first before assuming. Look out for pins on backpacks. When people hint at it or tell you directly, please don’t be offended. Most people are kind about correcting people, but some of us have also been continuously disappointed by those who intentionally dismiss our wishes. So, please be considerate, and even if someone has a certain body-type or hair length, it doesn’t mean they identify with how you think.