Raquel Vaughn-
Brittany Broski, an influencer who gained traction on the popular social media app TikTok, once vented on her YouTube show “Broski Report” about being accused of being just like every other girl: “I love going to Target during Halloween season. I love going to TJ Maxx. I love going to Ross. I love spending money on Halloween decorations. I am just like every other girl! It’s the small joys in life, and don’t ever try to take that from me by telling me that I’m just like other girls.”
Since women were little girls, the accusation of being “just like other girls” was known to be one of the most insulting things that could ever be said. Being independent and unique was valued more than other things like sisterhood and self-respect. And while all of those things are great to have and nurture, holding one over the other is more harmful than it is good. You saw it in books, TV shows, and movies. Girls were told they were loved because they were different, they weren’t like other girls. Hannah Montana, a kid’s show from Disney Channel, is guilty of participating in this mindset.
In the middle of the first season, a prominent character who was named Jake Ryan appears on the show. Jake Ryan is a famous actor who decides to take on the casual lifestyle of someone who is not Hollywood famous and enroll in Miley Stewart’s high school. Miley Stewart is the main character who juggles a double life. By day she’s ordinary girl Miley, and by night she’s popstar sensation Hannah. But Miley has no interest in Jake Ryan, despite everyone else’s (including her best friend Lily Truscott’s) obsession with him. But when Jake takes a liking to her, he reasons that she treats him differently than all the other girls—as in, she treats him as if he’s a snob. Because of what he said, Miley eventually warms up to him and even fights with Lily for his attention – completely forgetting that he is a snob.
The phenomenon of not being like other girls or going to great lengths to not be like other girls is also represented in other areas of media. For instance, the book series The Selection by Kiera Cass is based almost entirely on the principle that America Singer, the main character, is not like the other girls. As much as I love the series and as much as it is a comfort read for me, I cannot deny that with a plot that is basically parallel to The Bachelor, there will inevitably be a “she’s not like other girls” undertone. At first, America had no intention of trying to win Prince Maxon Schreave’s heart. But when she learns that he thinks she’s different from other girls, this makes her feel special and she slowly begins to fight for his heart, forgetting the relationships she made with some of the girls.
Yes, being different from other girls in the romantic context is valid. I’m sure you wouldn’t want your significant other going on similar dates and saying similar things to another romantic interest. But being different from the girls is not the end goal. It shouldn’t even be a goal. If you don’t read the same books, then who are you supposed to talk to when you’ve finished a series? If you don’t want to listen to the same music, then who are you supposed to go to concerts with? I’m not saying it’s bad to just simply be different. However, to actively hate things other girls love is what can only be described as sad.
This summer was one of the most magical times as hundreds of thousands of girls got together all over the world to experience Taylor Swift live. One thing I love about Taylor Swift fans is that they do not strive to be different from other girls to gain any male attention. They spend hours upon hours either DIY making a dress or searching for one, just for it to look just like half of what the stadium is wearing. They meet new girls, take each other’s pictures, and trade friendship bracelets.
I don’t know when the phrase began to circulate or how it even made it to pop culture media, but the idea of being “not like other girls” and considering it a compliment is sad and anti-woman. It reinforces the truth that girls can’t be themselves. They can’t enjoy the color pink, Barbie, dresses, heels, sparkles, makeup, or romance stories. They can’t play sports, be loud, be strong, or watch superhero movies. They can’t be a firefighter, a doctor, a cop, a soldier, or engineer. They can’t [insert anything here] without being condemned by both men and other women.
Brittany Broski is right. The thing about being a girl is that if one likes pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks, I probably will too. My sister loves the color pink and I do too. My friends played with Barbie dolls when they were little and I can’t even deny that I did too because why would I? My shared experiences and interests with other girls have helped me to develop some of the most nurturing friendships.
Do not be afraid to be like other girls.