Jonas Doerr – Opinion Columnist

College schedules are often overwhelming. Classes assign boatloads of homework that slowly accumulates as midterms loom. Activities and clubs often stack up one after another, day after day, eating up weeknights and weekends. Work sucks up more time as students struggle to pay for tuition. And all this doesn’t stop friends from wanting to hang out.
How do students deal with this? Do they choose to take less upon themselves? Do they decide that some activities are not as essential and quit them? Do they save time in their schedules to improve their relationships and boost their mental health?
Often students choose to do little if any of the above. Students hold themselves to high standards of what future employers and graduate programs will want, and it is hard to avoid accumulating one more thing for the resume. Most of all, I think students just want to tell everyone that they’re “Never Gonna Give You Up.”
I only partially say that to get the meme-worthy song stuck in your head. While the song itself is about loyalty in romance, Gustavus students take it to a whole new level. They tell professors, friends, and club leaders, “I’m never gonna give you up.”
Why do they do that? The next line of the song goes: “Never gonna let you down.” Students are afraid they will let people down.
If they don’t take really hard classes, they’ll disappoint everyone who thought they were smart, right?
If they can’t cover the extra shift tonight, their coworker is going to dislike them, right?
If they decide they can’t be Vice President of Mildly Important Activities of the Important Club, the club members will forever shun them worse than someone who doesn’t use deodorant, right?
Wrong! People are resilient. They will recover from someone saying no to their request. No one can do everything, and it is important to prioritize.
On the other hand, there are more reasons to cave in to the unending societal demands. The next line of the song goes, “Never gonna run around and desert you.”
Maybe some students think it would be despicable to go gallivanting around campus while others are working long hours every day. “Free time” does not have to be a badge of shame. Having time to use as one pleases does not make one lazy nor is it abandoning one’s hardworking friends.
Next, the song says: “Never gonna make you cry.” Would saying no to that person asking you to join their club hurt their feelings? Would telling your friends you can’t make it this time break their poor, innocent hearts forever?
I think not. Most people are rational enough to understand that busy students have to make choices about how to spend their time. Make it clear that the decision is based on your busy schedule, not how awful they are, and surely they won’t start bawling.
There’s more: “Never gonna say goodbye.” Sometimes missing an activity will mean missing out. There will be goodbyes, as people see each other for the last time. But FOMO (the fear of missing out) cannot be allowed to rule one’s life.
A person can only be in one place at a time. It is impossible to enjoy all the good things in life at once. Thus, one must optimize the experiences that they do have, not diminish them by bemoaning the experiences one missed.
One must choose where they want to spend their time at college. It is factually impossible to do everything at Gustavus – there are over 120 student orgs, some of which meet concurrently. You will miss things; don’t miss what’s happening in front of you.
The refrain of the song ends with “Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you” (it rhymes with ‘desert you’). The irony of this is people will often tell lies in an attempt to not hurt someone. “I guess I can cover your 6-hour shift.” “It doesn’t matter if I push off my homework to hang out with you.” “No, you definitely look great, not at all like a Sasquatch who hasn’t showered in 5 weeks!”
All these white lies create an environment completely void of honesty. No one knows what anyone wants, because everyone is trying to be ‘polite’. Honesty is necessary. Set boundaries. Let people know what you need. It doesn’t hurt people to let them know you need help. White lies do hurt people.
Does this mean we should quit everything and move to complete anarchy on campus? Certainly not. Quitting things is more a manner of pruning the tree than hacking the whole thing down. Choose the things that matter to you, and keep those. Let go of the things that are pinning you down, and enjoy your newfound freedom and free time.
Rick Astley might know what he’s talking about when he sings about romance, but his lyrics are horrible when used as time management advice. The song might be horrible too, but that’s another discussion. Let’s support boundaries on our time and give it up for those who won’t give up giving up.