At many schools, sex is as much of the college experience as studying, sleeping and partying. More commonly than students would like to think, the outcome of this decision is unplanned pregnancy. Gary L. Rose, M.D., President of the Medical Institute for Sexual Health said, “Forty-three percent of college-age women report having been pregnant at some time.” On our campus of 2,572 students, the appearance of student parents is rare, which raises questions as to whether or not Gustavus is open to this lifestyle.
Sophomore Health Fitness Major Ryan Ungs, father of a 16-month-old boy, said, “Because there are so few Gusties that have children … it’s not something that professors or administration really consider.”
“Gustavus is not hospitable for Gustie student parents. … There’s a lot of pressure given from every angle at Gustavus telling students what a Gustie should be, and none of these pressures include parenting before you graduate,” said Senior English Major Barbara Guy. “Gusties are told these things are valued: Finding a career right after you graduate or else going into some swanky internship or volunteer corps; you may get engaged your senior year of college, but not married before you graduate. If you get pregnant, you have been irresponsible and ‘unsafe.’”
Assistant Dean of Students Ruth Johnson believes meeting the needs of parenting presents an additional challenge on top of being a college student. “The college can try to help, but our main focus is the traditional-aged college student. I don’t know if the college would ever encourage students [to have children now]—it’s a life-changing decision … they have to have a sharp reordering of their priorities,” said Johnson.
Senior Elementary Education Major Jaclyn Martin is the mother of an eight-and-a-half-month-old girl, and has experienced such a shift in her lifestyle. Martin played hockey and golf her previous years at Gustavus and made the decision to quit both. “You have to give things up … it was kind of a bummer because it [is] my senior year,” Martin said.
Ungs can relate. “I started playing football at Gustavus, but I had to quit because I needed to work before [son] Hayden was born,” said Ungs.
Ungs has also had to change his academic behavior. “I find it really hard to be able to be as involved in activities and classes as the professors require, because I don’t have time to come to campus in the evenings or spend hours at the library when I would have to find a babysitter to get out of the house. It is a trade-off, but I would rather be a good father with a below average GPA than ignore my son and get straight As,” Ungs said.
Johnson said that the kind of experience Gustavus provides can be all-consuming, while parents simultaneously need to make their children the highest priority. “It is very hard to do that as a student, particularly at the kind of college that Gustavus is, where we are very aware of learning inside the classroom and outside the classroom, ” she said.
On the Gustavus campus, where students may attend meetings and other obligations around the clock, many live in on-campus housing to make it easier for them to come and go. According to Director of Residential Life Charlie Strey, student-parents do have the option of on-campus housing. However, this capacity is limited. “Three single-bedroom apartments are held out of the housing process each year for possible use of married/parent housing,” said Strey. Both Ungs and Martin decided to forego this option.
“I actually talked to Troy [Seppelt] at [Residential] Life last year and was told that since my fiancé does not go to school at Gustavus … it was impossible to have her live on campus. I would not want my son to be raised without a mother, so that idea went down the drain quickly,” Ungs said.
Ungs and his family live in Waterville, MN, a half-hour away from campus. Ungs said he is happy living off-campus and makes the most of his time while he is here. “When I get [to campus] in the morning, I stay until my classes are done and then go home. I am not like the typical college student that can go to a class and then hang out in their dorm or go back to their house and then come back to campus for the rest of their classes and a review session at night from 9-10 or something. By that time I am already in bed,” he said.
Martin stressed the need for an on-campus daycare service, which she believes would be beneficial not only to students, but to faculty and staff as well. After becoming a parent, Martin noticed the need for a supervised play area in order for her to work out in Lund, the lack of changing tables in the bathrooms of certain academic buildings and the new stadium, and the challenge of parking far away and having to push a stroller across gravel lots.
Other parents have faced similar difficulties. “There have been a couple of occasions [where] I have had to miss class because of not having daycare lined up … In these cases, it is usually an excused absence and I don’t lose points, but if I missed a quiz or something I’m usually not allowed to make that up,” Ungs said.
Despite the challenges these Gustie parents have faced, neither would change their situations. “I wouldn’t change what happened for anything,” Martin said. “You have to grow up sometimes. [My husband] and I just had to grow up sooner. I love kids and I have always wanted to have them.”
While Johnson believes in the mantra “Education now and babies later,” she said, “For those students [who] do have babies, we want to celebrate those little lives and help those moms and dads to be good parents and good Gusties.”
Guy agreed. “I highly commend students who have had babies and continued their college career at Gustavus,” she said. “Not only would this be an academic and financial challenge, it would take some guts! I think I would be too much of a wuss to walk around campus with a pregnant belly.”
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